Wolf Like Me
by Violent Gentleman
Summary: After a failed attempt at suicide; Thomas Wake has to find out how to properly deal with the loss of his mother as he enters his Senior year in High School. He moves in with his estranged brother; learning that life comes with pain and help comes in strange ways. Rated M for language, sexual content, drug use, suicidal and mature themes.
1. Failure

'You'll be okay, I promise.' My mother said. For the first time ever, I felt no fear.

At this age, paragliding was a hard word to say for me. I was eight, it would be hard for anyone if they were eight-years-old, and up thirty feet over a vast ocean; completely terrified.

But my mom was right next to me, my supporter, my rock. It was the first time I ever felt truly invincible, like nothing could hurt me. Paragliding was something fun for us we did on vacations; which my father couldn't even make, even after he paid for it. He figured it would be easier just to send us away to some four star resort, than actually be a father.

I could hear my older brother Danny roaring from the boat below, I could feel the wind against my feet, I could smell the salt from the sea. I could feel my mothers hand in mine, protecting me. I could see her smile as it gave me strength to feel no fear. I remember seeing her laugh as if she was eight-years-old.

The perfect day.

Now, I see a bright light, not much else. I hear a persistent beeping, I feel uncomfortable while I try to sit up, and the pungent smell of rubbing alcohol and vinegar filled my lungs.

"Where am I?" I spoke quietly, still unable to see much. There were a few things I knew: I was in a room, and my wrists really fucking hurt.

"OH, GOD! Holy shit, Tommy, you're alive!"

"Danny?" Curious at the sound of the voice. "Where am I," I turned to the sound of Danny's voice. "Why are you here?"

"Well, it's good to see you too, man." Huffing a sarcastic tone. I heard the creaking of plastic as he sat back down. Sarcasm was in our blood, but the sound of Danny's voice caused me to cringe.

Danny had a very specific voice. He smoked a pack a day since he was sixteen. Mom always got on him about it, Dad didn't really care; he was never home. Danny left as soon as he graduated, leaving for college as soon as he could. He got away right before things got bad. Leaving me with no one.

I felt a sharp tug on my right arm and found a tube protruding out of my skin in the crook of my elbow, I was wearing a floral green gown under thin white sheets.

"They had to put back some blood-" Danny stopped. "For the blood you lost..."

Fear started to set in. My vision returning, I could see now through the glass door people in different colored clothing, like pajamas, or scrubs.

"Danny, am I in the hospital?" I asked deadpan.

I was becoming frantic whilst my heart jumped into my throat. Danny stood up from the chair and crossed the room towards me, which only made me start to panic.

"Danny, am I in the hospital?!" I demanded an answer, I pulled myself up. The pain was sharp and immediate, a burn shooting up my forearm.

"Tommy, just relax, okay?" Danny sounded hesitant, nervous. "What do you remember?"

Danny's voice was so hoarse, like there was a small train station speaker in his throat. You could compare it to running your finger over the teeth of a comb; and he was trying to calm me down, but his voice started to aggravate me.

I closed my eyes in effort to remember. Seeing the moon, a clear August night, the moon was brighter than it had been all summer.

"Did I fall out of my window?" I asked more so curious than anything. **  
**

Danny gripped the railing on my bed. I heard the brittle sound of the hard plastic cracking under his grip. His glare made my wrists burn, I could feel the beat of my heart in my throat, closing with each thump; and the churning in my stomach started, becoming more unbearable by the second.

"Holy shit..."

It felt like I was on a delay, everything around me moving slower than my mind could pick up on. It all came back to me when I looked down and found gauze wraps around my forearms.

"I tried to kill myself, Danny..." I looked up to my older brother for guidance, for him to say anything at all; I was in disbelief. He just looked at me, with a stone face that was weathered with experiences; besides this one.

"What the fuck!" I started to panic while the memories of that night all came to the forefront of my mind. **  
**

_Steak knives and goodbyes._

"Hey, Tommy, come on..." Danny tried to calm me down.

For a brief moment, I felt numb, but only for a moment. The realization slapped me across the face that I had failed where my mother succeeded. I did all that I could; physically and mentally. I cried. I screamed, I tensed every part of my body. I tried to think of something else, something other than this plain, daunting room. Danny just gripped the handrail tighter while I let out the last sob, before I went quiet.

My mother killed herself, almost two months ago. She told me to go out with my friends, she told me I should go have fun. I wish I had known then, I wouldn't have left out the door. How tight she held me, the kiss to my forehead, my cheek, the chill up my spine when she told me goodbye. When I finally came home, I found a new kind of hurt, a new kind of fear. **  
**

I could feel other eyes on me, all the nurses had been watching me during my fit, it just made my stomach feel worse. I could feel bile rising up in my throat; so I swallowed it back down. Appearing like an exhibit from the other side of the glass.

I felt like death. **  
**

"What time is it, Danny?" Wiping the tears from my cheek.

"It's a quarter till five." He said with a sigh. "In the evening." A quick hand through his unkempt thick hair.

I gave a nod, then looked down to the wrappings on my wrists. There was no need to wonder why I did this. I wasn't pressured into it, I didn't want to be cool. I knew I had done it; I guess I just didn't plan on making it out alive to live with this type of embarrassment. This was a suicide attempt; and I couldn't even do it, I couldn't even do that right.

The sound of Danny's boots stepping on the floor caught my attention. I noticed he was heading for the sliding door.

"Where are you going?" I asked in a wet voice.

"I'm going to go see about getting you discharged." Danny said without turning around. He was out the door before I could ask anything else.

I needed to ask what was going to happen with me. I had been staying with my Aunt Lynn, the sociopath in the family. I was sent there after my mother's funeral. Just sitting in Aunt Lynn's living room would make anyone want to kill themselves. The whole house was furnished like it was stuck in the eighteenth century and it smelled of dust and missed opportunities.

There another Aunt in Chicago, Aunt Sandy, she's probably the coolest Aunt. I like to think I would have been better off with her, considering Aunt Sandy was the only sibling my mother had that wasn't completely out of their fucking mind. But sometimes, life just makes it rain harder on you.

The reason behind me living with my Aunt Lynn in the first place was that my father happened to be ' _too_ ' busy to take care of his seventeen-year-old son. My father- Wait, Vincent; Vincent is the president of a major record label: _Vinnie's Records._ He also owns a personal driver company called _A-Ride._

My father is that big of an _A-Hole_ , he's taking jobs from Taxi drivers. Plus, he wouldn't know good music if it had called him and told him to get checked for syphilis. He's such a class act, he sent me to my Aunt Lynn's house after my world fell apart, not even Aunt Sandy! No, he sent me to Aunt Lynn with her vampire tomb and a Shih Tzu that if you sneezed within a five foot radius, it would shit itself, and then promptly die.

Vincent Wake is a piece of shit. But that's just my opinion.

"You piece of actual shit!" Danny's voice was low and gravelly but laced with hate. "He's your fucking son, _Vince_." Danny continued in hushed aggression. I wasn't sure if he knew I could hear him. But, I guess Danny and I had something in common after all.

He was just outside the glass door that was left slightly ajar, open to wear I could hear his conversation, so I leaned forward a bit; catching what I could.

"How long are you going to just leave us here, huh? You know how long it's been? You know what's going on, so why aren't you helping?" There was a pause, Danny let out a rushed breath, "I can't believe you, this has nothing to do with money! It never has! We need your help! I can't do this-" Danny let his hand holding the phone drop to his side, he pinched the bridge of his nose, his eyes shut tight in frustration; it was a vintage Wake move.

I felt like a kid again, watching my parents fight, or getting in trouble. I was at the receiving end of a scolding that I wasn't sure I deserved, or just accepted because it was expected.

Danny walked into the room, clearing his throat to make his presence known.

"Was that Dad?" I asked, sarcastic charm was also a Wake trait. Danny stared at me, not looking amused at all.

"Get dressed." Danny sighed, he tossed a bag that the hospital held for me.

"I didn't even see you come in with that-"

"Yeah, yeah. You're gonna stay with me." Danny actually tried to smile.

I appreciated that. But I was sure the ' _I can't do this!_ ' was related to this particular situation. So my lack of confidence wasn't surprising.

"If you hurry, we can swing by McDonald's." Danny continued.

This was a strange situation, and I wasn't sure how I was leaving. I slipped my pants on, took the gown off and shoved it far into the trash can, so it would never see the light of day again. When I pulled my shirt over my head, I saw that it was stained reddish-brown at the hem; the color was faded, so I assumed they had it sanitized.

 _That is blood.  
_

It was my blood, the reason for the gauze around my wrists. My right index finger sliding against the medical tape, but before I could pick at the bandage, Danny placed his hand on my shoulder.

"I know this isn't ideal, I know I was, like, the last person you expected-"

"I'm glad you're here, Danny." My interruption was quiet, I looked to his hand on my shoulder, and then back to him.

"Well, I'm glad you're alive." His smile was brighter; real. "We're going to be alright, Tommy." Danny gave my shoulder a squeeze for reassurance.

It wasn't much, but it was something to go on. At this point in time, Danny was my only family. He's my older brother, who at one point in my life I looked up to. Who's to say that things couldn't be the same?

"They wanted to have a shrink come in and evaluate you, make sure you were normal." Danny laughed.

He had such a way of making me feel... Better.

"Did I need to be cleared or something?" I mumbled with a furrow of my eyebrows. I didn't want to leave a hospital being considered a threat to myself.

"Oh, no. Something about Hospital Polices or some sort of shit, it was just-" Danny froze, slowly turning towards me. "Oh, fuck. Were you supposed to be checked out?" His eyes widening, his jaw slant.

I almost believed him if it wasn't for the smirk he cracked.

"Your hold is up, you're fine." Danny laughed.

"Let's just get the fuck out of here, Danny. I'm hungry!" I shoved Danny forward, as best as I could with his giant frame. Not even moving him an inch.

Danny wrapped his arm around my head as we walked out of the emergency room.

"Okay, I'm taking him, bye!" Danny announced to the lobby with a grand gesture with his free arm.

I saw two very concerned nurses start to rush towards us with another coming up behind to stop them. She told the two that I was cleared and the giant man who had me in a headlock was in fact my brother. I could see the relief on their faces.

"Peace out Shoreside Memorial Hospital!" Danny hollered at them, throwing on his sunglasses.

For the first time, in a long time. I didn't feel so bad. **  
**

* * *

We were alright, up until the car ride. I forgot how much of a reckless driver Danny was. I thought things would have changed, but, no. From weaving through traffic, to cutting people off and nearly rear-ending drivers. Danny has remained the same terrifying driver I remember as a kid.

"Fucker!" Danny cursed.

"I'm pretty sure they had the right of way." I added sharply, holding on to the door side handle; or the 'Oh, shit!' bar while driving with Danny.

Danny slammed on the breaks, making a hard right, and continued up a hill. I saw lovely town homes, they were similar in structure but decorated differently. The higher up we went, the more ocean view we had.

"Danny, how the hell do you live here?" I asked in disbelief. The view was breathtaking. For a moment, I forgot all about my life and just existed.

Danny pulled into the driveway of his town house. I started thinking, he was a cartoonist and comic book artist, which was his career choice, but he wasn't working for too big of a company. The fact that he was living in a townhome with an ocean view in Shoreside, with the money he made as a cartoonist, must have meant he was also a hooker.

"Seriously, Danny."

"Mom," Danny sighed as soon as he parked the car; I titled my head in confusion. He cut the engine, keeping his eyes forward. "This is mom's home, Tommy. She left it to me."

My eyebrows furrowed, the townhome that was strange and unfamiliar not even five seconds ago was now foreboding. It was made of brick with white window panes, the grass was still green, complete with white picket fence.; it looked like a house my mom would like, which scared me. I could smell the ocean breeze and when I stepped out of the Jeep and for a second, I was fine. I grabbed my food, the fact that I wasn't at Aunt Lynn's, or back at the hospital gave me more relief than apprehension. Getting the full view of the place, this home that my mother had, which was a secret to me up until now. I felt a sudden rush of anger.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" I felt a sting of betrayal. "I could have been here instead of with Aunt Lynn?" Danny walked up the rest of the walkway, I stood waiting for a response.

I was lied to, that made me feel cheated. Aside from the random birthday text message, Danny and I never really talked. or the quick hour visit on Christmas.I was with Aunt Lynn for a month, and he never said a thing. Would he have told me if I hadn't tried to kill myself?

I took a step back, my own words knock the air out of me.

"I wasn't planning on keeping this place..." Danny said defensively, opening the door. He turned to me, eyes narrowed. "I was going to sell it. I just couldn't bring myself to walk in."

We both became quiet, staring at the darkened home. I looked into the cryptic hallway with a chill up my spine and an ache in my chest. From the looks of it, the house appeared to be desolate.

"Did you know Mom had this place?" I spoke into the dark hallway, the question intended for Danny.

"There was a note she left me with the keys. She had Dad buy it for her." I noticed Danny hesitantly step forward. "She told me I should get rid of my apartment and just live here since it's paid off, but it's too big for one person." Danny was already in the house, flipping on a few switches that brought the house alive with light. "It's kind of scary here alone."

I walked in slowly, careful as I strolled through the foyer. I was cautious with each step I took, seeming as if one wrong move and I'd fall through the floor, and into a dark abyss. I eventually made my way into the living room. The interior decor was pretty much my mother; her style, her flare. Blue walls, tall with a white trim. Big open windows with massive curtains, and a skylight in the living room.

Her taste in home décor made her one of the most wanted house planners in Shoreside.

 _She gone now._ My throat started to close up. My hands clenched into fists caused my wrists to burn.

"Maybe she thought I'd have a niece or nephew by now." I cracked a smirk, putting what effort I could to make it look convincing.

I looked around, seeing some art work that I knew my mom had picked out. Everything about this home was my mom. Her choice of colors, furniture and art work made it all seem like it was just for her, then it all made sense. "For when Mom and Dad fought.." Danny glance over at me, "After they fought, Mom would leave, remember? This is probably where she went." I spoke staring up through the skylight. Watching the colors in the sky blend with dark blues and orange bursts as the sun set. A laugh from Danny had me certain I was right. "So he knew about this and they were both fine with it?" Pulling my eyes from the painting in the sky. Watching my brother looking through envelopes of various sizes.

Danny turned to me after a moment and tossed the mail onto the nightstand next to the couch..

"Mom and Dad were only together for us, Tommy..." He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, I felt his eyes on me with a weight of contemplation. "They did the best they could, to give us what we had, but ultimately they just fell out of love."

I guess I always had known that, I just didn't want to face it. I was holding out hope that maybe I had a fully functioning family that cared about each other. Even through the fights, the breaking of whatever they could get their hands on, the ' _I'm sick of it's_!' and the ' _Then fucking leave's_!' I just wanted my family to be a complete family so bad that I just tuned everything out and believed only what I wanted to.

Danny had caught on to me getting quiet, he tossed me something and I was surprised I managed to catch it. It fit in my hand, but it had some weight behind it. Sharp edged and very expensive looking. I gave him a quizzical look, expecting to open it and have there be something behind it. Like dog shit, or a dead something.

"What's this?" I asked.

"It's a phone, dumbass." Danny said as he plopped onto the couch. "I got it for you while you were out last night."

"Hey, thanks, Danny." It the first time since my tenth birthday that Danny had bought me something. I couldn't help but smile. I realized that on the wall Danny was facing was an eighty-inch flat screen TV, _Playstation_ , _DVR_ ; causing my jaw to drop with a sound system that almost made me salivate. "Mom bought those?" I winced from the sudden pain in my chest.

"Yep." Danny replied. Turning the channel to _ESPN_ with a special on the _Anaheim Ducks_. "Mom loved us, Tommy..."

I smiled, holding my hand to my chest. Waiting for the pain to leave. Focusing on what I could to take my mind off of it, eventually being able to move without any aches.

Danny let me use his laptop to help get in contact with some friends of mine. Ben Echo being the first I messaged, I told him I had a new phone and that I needed to talk to him. Ben was my best friend, ever since sixth grade. He went a different route going into high school then the rest of us. He joined the debate team and then lacrosse. Then finally, he fell into the system of popularity. We would hang out as much as he can throughout the school years. But this summer seemed to be a bit different, I rarely saw him.

Nathan Brooks and Zoe Castillo, who were a different story, got back to me immediately. I met both of them in sixth grade as well and we've just been weirdos ever since. We had similar tastes in music, we both like to go to shows, we loved everything about Halloween; just to name a few things.

They both got back to me immediately, and we made plans to meet up tomorrow in the afternoon. Nathan had just gotten his license, making him the last of us to do so; they promised they would come by and hang out. I hadn't told them what had happened, the whole attempt at suicide thing. But I figured they were going to find out one way or another. They already knew about my mother, they were the only two friends I had at her funeral; Ben didn't show up, and I know he knew about it. So, either I was going to tell them about my attempt to meet death, or they would see the bandages around my wrists. I decided to keep them covered until I told them, there's no point in ruining a surprise.

"Hey!" Danny called from the couch. "Check out this play."

I walked over from the kitchen table and watched the replay of some highlight reel that had all of the hardest hits in the NHL from last season. I used to be into hockey when I was young, but Danny loved it. I vaguely remember watching a few games with Danny and my Dad at the Arrowhead Pond. Danny and I enjoyed ourselves, Vince was always on his phone.

"Danny, you think you can tell me how to watch Hockey?"

"Sure, dude." He spoke while cracking open a can of beer. "The hardest part is keeping your eyes on the puck." Laughing before he took a sip.

My hopes weren't too high, mainly because things were going way too well. But, I took it minute by the minute. Thinking ' _This is as good as it's going to get.'_ So not to set myself up for such a huge let down. I figured it didn't hurt to try, specially after my near death experience.

I wondered what would have happened if I wasn't found that night, or if I got to the hospital a little bit later. What if I died?

Another wave of pressure in my chest, followed by the burning in my wrists. Unrelenting. Danny must have noticed, because he glanced over with another sip from his can, then kept his eyes on the TV.

Danny showed me to one of the guest rooms, which would now be my room. It was plain, but a definite step up from the hospital. A big bed, a window with a view and a lot of space. Danny said he'd go into work late to take me to get a few things in the morning.

Our mother played it smart, leaving bonds and trusts in only our names. She started them when I was born, they only got bigger with every year that past. Plus what she left us in her will. We were more than alright financially, but that really wasn't as comforting as expected.

"So you're all good? Bed sheets, and all that stuff?" Another beer in Danny's hand, the aluminum dented by the pressure of his grip. No eye contact, just speaking with his eyes on the floor.

"Yeah, I even have my own bathroom... So... that shouldn't be a problem either." I replied with a raise of my eyebrows. I was standing right next to him, so he had to smell it. "Have you washed these sheets, Danny?"

"Don't be picky." Danny laughed, roughing up my hair into more of a mess. It frayed in every direction. I walked in and sat down on my bed, in my empty room, with my brother in the doorway. The silence becoming louder and louder.

"Alright, Tommy. Well, I'll see you tomorrow. Bright and early, man." Danny lifted his can to me before he left, I gave a small wave.

It was a strange situation, my room was very symbolic of my own mental state; a lot of nothing. Trying to keep my glass half full rather than half empty, really only because that's what my Mom would have rather wanted. I put the sheets over my bed and plugged my phone into its charger.

Staring at my ceiling of my room, laying on my bed, in a place where I felt a little bit more comfortable and myself; I actually felt tired. I was hit with a wave of exhaustion, it hit me like a check in the boards. I heard a dog howl, or maybe a coyote. No, it was bigger, it had more of a lower tone, loud enough to be heard, but just faint enough not to be close by. It had to be something big.

I've got to be losing it, there's nothing that weird in Shoreside.


	2. Mercy Me

**A/N:** Hello, my name is AJ. I hope you guys are still interested in this. This is the second chapter, and I've been trying to write as much as possible. But with work, and some other issues. It's hard to get back into the swing of things.

But, I will do my best to deliver everything I have to all of you as long as you all enjoy it. Leave some _**Reviews**_ and tell all your friends!

Here is Chapter 2!

* * *

" _Though I'm weak and beaten down. I'll slip away into the sound. The ghost of you, this close to me. I'm inside out, you're underneath. Don't let me be gone._ "

- **Twenty One Pilots** -" _Goner_ "

* * *

I woke up the next morning to the sun bursting through my window. I reached up to pull the blinds down, finding that there were none. I groaned whilst making my way to the floor. slowly with barely any effort, ending with a thud.

"Danny!" I moved to the only space of shade I could find, hiding from the sun, curled in a fetal position. Southern California's sun beaming heat onto me.I smiled as I won the war against the fiery death ball that loomed over earth.

I went to grab for my sheets, finding that the floor was a lot cooler than my bed. I felt as tired as I was last night. I must not have gotten enough sleep, or maybe I had too much of such a wonderful thing. I couldn't complain since there was no time, there was too much that had to be done today to even consider going back to sleep; but I stilled pined for that thought.

"Hey, Tommy- AH!" Danny screamed as he opened the door to the scene, poking his head in and catching me curled into the small piece of shady safety.

"... Are you okay?" He continued.

"You're very loud." Pulling the sheets over myself in my attempt to hide from reality.

"Right, okay. Come on, get ready. Uh... There should be some towels in the bathroom." Danny stood awkwardly against the door.

"I don't have any clothes, Danny." I slowly pulled myself up and almost fell back down. I had forgotten about my wrists. I winced from the pain. Fortunately, I was able to get myself back onto my bed; all I wanted was to go back to sleep.

"Aunt Lynn came by earlier to drop off your stuff." He laughed. "She asked what happened."

"Aunt Lynn?" I furrowed my eyebrows, grabbing my phone for the time. "It's eight in the morning..." There was an empty feeling in my stomach when the realization hit; it immediately made me feel dizzy and weightless. The feeling you get when you're up high on a diving board, then you just free fall into the water. "What did you tell her?" I asked nervously.

The last thing I wanted was the rest of my psychotic family knowing that I had tried to kill myself.

Danny shrugged, he wasn't too fond of Aunt Lynn. "I told her this was between us... She tried to bite, but I wouldn't budge. No one needs to know what's going on besides You and me, dude."

I felt a flood of relief. I couldn't appreciate Danny anymore than I do in this moment. We were still foreign to the brother concept, but he tries to make things easier for me. Since I doubt that Aunt Lynn has ever kept a secret.

I took in a sharp breath, "Thanks, Danny." Closing my eyes, trying to convince myself that everything was fine.

There was one thing that took me a while to learn about the sisters my Mother had. Her passing unfortunately expediting the lesson.

I see the Dempsey's as a pack of Dragons; they breath fire and their bites are worst than their roars; at the first sign of weakness, they'll eat each other. I'm not entirely sure if that's a Dragon trait, but I'll just write it off as one.

"Yeah, don't worry about it. If she says or does anything, I'll destroy her." Letting out a slow breath of air, Danny gave a thumb up. "I promise." He walked out the door, shutting it behind him.

As much as I appreciated his promise, the fact that Lynn would stop at nothing to find out what I was hiding caused my heart to fill with dread. She needed the dirt on me so she could hold it over my head; I didn't want to hear how much of a psycho they think I am at Thanksgiving this year.

I groaned the thought away. I saw the suitcase at the foot of my bed, making my way over. In this suitcase was literally everything I had in my life. It terrified me how it could all fit into this brown old suitcase.

I crouched down and started going through my clothes, my books, my journal.

"Huh..." Surprised, I hadn't seen my journal in a while, I loved it. My mother had bought it for me, she always thought I had a talent for writing. It was weathered with ' _Love Awaits The Strange_ ' engraved along the cracked spine. Brown leather with my initials also engraved on the bottom right corner. There was a bear artfully carved into the leather front cover; giving it a regal look. I remember getting made fun of for this.

"I still do." I laughed at myself, then became very sad that I did; that was depressing.

Flipping through the notebook to find it filled with stories, poems and notes. A diary of an angst driven teen. stuffed in every possible corner. The creases and indents made by my heavy hand created a satisfying crackle with every page I turned.

I stopped when I found the page I was looking for, I couldn't help but smile; I had completely forgotten about the note my mom left. She left me some words of encouragement on a random page for my first day of High School. I was surprised to find it, knowing that when everything around me was changing, my mother was there with the words I needed to hear.

It was comforting, considering I was scared out of my mind. All I had was that note whenever my social cue was questioned, before they filtered me into the category of nerd. I remembered reading it whenever I felt overwhelmed; It always gave me strength.

The next thing I found was the envelope. It was given to me at my Mom's Will and Testament reading. I stared at it and it gave an awful feeling; with it's smooth surface and sharp edges, unopened. It was threatening, ominous and foreboding. Like it was staring at me, without blinking. It was the anxious feeling you get when you walk through your house with the lights off, feeling like there's someone or some _thing_ in the shadow, lurking in the corners; just watching you.

Like Danny, I had also received an envelope from my mother. Except mine was thicker, and more than likely didn't hold a set of keys to a house that was paid for. Mom's lawyer gave them to us, and ever since then it's given me more anxiety than I cared for.

I opened my notebook and slipped the envelope inside when I started to feel the pounding ache behind my eyes. Sliding them both under my bed, keeping them there; hidden, hoping I'd forget about it.

After a few moments to myself and the salty air hitting my skin, the ocean breeze filling my lungs as it came through the window; it all left me well enough to move. I finished up with the suitcase, pulling out some shorts with a _Blink 182_ shirt Danny had mailed me this past Christmas; the last Christmas we had before...

' _Fuck..._ ' I focused on the ocean breeze, putting myself back together, the best I could. I shook it off and stood straight; I was lucky I had caught it before it did real damage. That's got to be the scariest part, feeling anxiety take control.

I got back to my feet and made my way to the bathroom, I wasn't expecting much.

My jaw dropped once I got there, I really had nothing to compare it to, but the fact that I had my own personal bathroom was cool enough. It was huge, I've never had my own bathroom, so I didn't take it for granted. The only odd part was that the shower head came down from the ceiling, but other than that it looked like a shower to me; I wasn't complaining.

After a minute or two of trying to figure out the temperature and water pressure nobs, my sore wrists started to ache after using some elbow grease to get the water where I wanted it. The cool water running over my body and finding aches and pains I hadn't noticed.

The water washed away everything, everything except my bandages. I've had stitches before, so I figured that it was the same concept. Just don't get them wet. I would have to change the dressings, but didn't think about that, how not having any clean gauze would be an issue.

"Shit." I muttered as I finished up my shower a bit quicker than I had hoped. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around myself quickly. I let the water drop to the floor, taking careful steps in hopes not to slip, ultimately slipping; but I was blessed by those Wake genetics as I caught myself on the wall with no real effort.

I ran into my room and spotted gauze wrap and tape on my bed.

 _Danny must have left it._ I thought. He was probably thinking the same thing I was.

I felt relieved that I wouldn't have to talk too much about the whole killing myself thing with Danny. It was so awkward already with him, adding this in would just make it all worse; I was glad we didn't have to talk too much about it, or anything else for that matter.

I took the old wraps off and started investigating my stitches. The thick stitches lead down my wrists; it was evident that I wasn't looking to just fuck myself up, I was looking to end it. That thought sent the coldest chill down my spine, this was the first time I had seen them. Besides when I made them in the first place.

They were in serpentine lines, heading down my forearm. Three on my right arm, two on the left. I clearly didn't want to live, and it hit me like a brick wall as I ran my fingers over them; I really wanted to end it.

 _Do I still?_ I thought, watching the stitches on both arms; thick and curious, like maybe they might move around or I could make them do a silly dance for me.

My head hurt, my vision blurred; I felt a wave of depression crash down on me. I looked to my scars and I saw my mother, I was back at her wake, I was back at the reception after her service. I was back in my room, grasping for anything, screaming for anyone; but I found nothing, and no one could hear me.

"Tommy, come on!" Danny yelled as he knocked on the door.

The knock was loud enough to snap me back to reality, but I felt even more exhausted now. My eyes fogged and I saw something in me for the very first time, and it frightened the hell out of me.

My eyes wouldn't focus, It felt like I had no control. My mind just started moving without me; my mind having a mind of it's own is something that was certain to be dangerous. It started to calm, I gained control. The only thing I knew for a fact was that I did not want that happening again.

"I-I'll be out in a minute." I managed to say, quietly. It made Danny leave, he probably didn't want to deal with me since I wasn't really selling him on me being normal.

I could always be caught by the way I walked, or the expression on my face; when there was something wrong with me, the world would know.

* * *

I jumped into the Jeep and Danny roared the engine to life. Our destination didn't need to be announced, it was the one place we both enjoyed; _Ikea_!

 _Ikea_ is a wonderful place, full of magical things anyone could build and use to bring a room to life. Also, decent prices on matching dish sets.

As a kid I thought _Ikea_ was Disneyland; up until I actually went to Disneyland. I personally prefer the lines at _Ikea_ , they go by faster and you get something to cherish for the rest of your life; or at least six months.

When I was young, Danny and I would go to _Ikea_ with our Mom as a team. We knew where to go, what was good, what to get, and what we didn't need. Our mother would bring us here for her job, She was a professional home decor stylist. I always felt like I was helping, like she was training us to have a keen eye, we always left with something and it felt like such a team effort because...

I winced from the pressure building in my chest. The headache came back again, just as painful with each pulse. My vision started to blur and the back of my head throbbed. I had to turn away from Danny. But as soon as it had come, it was gone.

"You okay?" Danny asked with an expression of an alert warthog.

I gave a quick nod and a thumbs up as my response. He didn't want to hear it and I didn't want to talk about it.

"I just haven't eaten yet." I mumbled. Shrinking in my seat as we parked.

"Yeah, you do get weird when you haven't eaten. Alright, let's make this quick so we can get some Wienerside." Danny was quick to change the subject. "Let's go!"

 _Ikea_ had just opened, so we were part of the first group of people up the escalators. Danny was pointing to a dresser as soon as we walked in. Glancing at me, looking for a yes or a no in response.

Danny was simple. It didn't take much to convince him; he was content with little to know. I gave a nod to the dresser, a bed frame, a small entertainment system, a desk, and a bookshelf. Then, we went off the deep end a little bit with one painting and a pretty decent _Misfits_ rug. We didn't bother checking how much the total was before Danny swiped the card, our Mom made sure we were going to be taken care of financially.

We had to do a few trips to get everything in the jeep. It was still pretty early and the only thing we could think about was Wienerside. A restaurant with the best chili dogs known to God, and I'm not just saying that because I would stab someone for a chili dog; I'm saying that because these are the best chili dogs in Shoreside and quite possibly the world; and I would also stab someone for one.

Wienerside Hot Dogs. Yes, funny name. My friends and I have had a lot of laughs at their expense, but if you have ever tasted heaven, you have tasted a Wienerside chili dog; and we could meet up on a forum somewhere, and talk about our mutual love for them. I fucking love chili dogs.

Danny ordered his boring hamburger, and I went ahead an ordered more than my usual five chili dogs with cheese and onions. I was expecting company, and I was going to need their help.

The drive back home was more intense than going to _Ikea_. Danny only honked eighteen times, and I could only assume that was a big step for him. The cursing on the other hand, that was a totally different story. I heard a couple words I never knew existed.

Once we got home, Danny helped me unload the loot into the house and as we walked back outside, he turned to me.

"Just... Just don't blow up anything." Danny spoke nonchalantly, his hand gesturing to the home.

"I can't promise that, Danny..." I offered as a reply, squinting from the morning sun up high.

A moment of silence passed and Danny gave a few nods before running a hand through my mess of hair. It was a innocent gesture, but I still felt a bit awkward with Danny. Even with our communication going so well, It felt like that novelty was on a time limit.

"Alright, Tommy." Danny hopped into his Jeep. "I'll text you about dinner."

"Maybe we should go to the grocery store, Danny?" I suggested with a tilt of my head.

"What's that?" Danny stared at me from his Jeep. "I don't know what that is." Starting his car and looked away while he pulled out of the driveway.

I laughed a bit, giving a small wave as he drove off. I was hoping that he wasn't serious abut the grocery store, but I was beginning to think he was.

A familiar _Ford Ranger_ roared up almost immediately after Danny left. The door opened before it came to a complete stop. _  
_

"THOMAS ARTHUR WAKE, YOU SHITHEAD!"

It's Zoe Castillo, one of my oldest friends and tomboy.

"ZOE! Stay in the truck while I'm parking at least!"

And Nathan! Best friend and one of the only hardcore kids in Shoreside.

"Hey, guys-" Was all I could get out before the onslaught came.

"What the fuck, Thomas!" Zoe was aggressive.

"What the hell-" I was cut off by Zoe shoving me.

"Answer me!"

"You haven't asked me anything!" I raised my voice and threw my hands in the air.

"Hey, Zoe! Down, girl!" Nathan walked around his truck, walking up to join us.

I smiled at my friends and felt relieved. Feeling like I had come up from being trapped under water. The yelling and the swatting were normal. Zoe and Nathan have been my friends since the sixth grade. Now we're starting our Senior year, and I felt like the luckiest person in the world to have friends like them.

I felt his eyes on my wrists before I caught him staring at me. Nathan looked me in the eye and his whole expression changed. His mouth opened and then snap shut, like he had something to say, but voted against speaking. I felt the heat from Zoe's eyes, except she was more vocal about it.

"Thomas... why are your wrists wrapped up?" Zoe eyes found mine and when I looked away, she became nervous. "Thomas..." She pushed cautiously.

"I'll explain!" I held my palms forward, "I promise, I just need your help with something really quick."

"Which is?" Nathan asked, worried more so than curious.

"I have some new furniture that needs building." I said with a smile, looking to the house and back to them.

When I turned back to Zoe and Nathan, they looked like how anyone else would look when their friends call to hang out, only to find that they're actually going to build furniture; miserable.

I quickly pointed to the house, excited and hopeful.

"I also brought Wienerside dogs!" I continued to smile. "Please help me." Speaking through clenched teeth.

Zoe sighed and grabbed me by my shirt and dragged me towards the house.

"Fine, but you're going to tell us what the fuck is going on as we build your shit and eat your food." Zoe demanded, dragging me into my own home.

It's good to have friends.

* * *

We were able to put together the bookshelf with little to no problems, but the bed frame was almost impossible. We managed to finished everything in under two hours.

When I took a look at my new room, I felt a hundred times better than yesterday. It felt like I had a room. Something real to hold on to, something to help keep me sane. A smile appeared on my face as I looked around the once vacant room. I couldn't wait to fill the bookshelf, start writing on the desk, get a TV on the entertainment system.

"So, are you going to tell us what's going on, Thomas?" Nathan looked at me as he leaned against the wall under the window. "I doubt it's about college applications."

He was fiddling with a screwdriver, toying with it. I watched it sway, ticking time away, a pendulum over my throat; metaphorically speaking.

Zoe's eyes created heat on my skin again. They both stared at me in the quiet room filled with chili dog wrappers and bolts. I started to feel anxious as they stayed silent, waiting for me to give them an answer.

There was no going back after this, and no way to stall any longer. I took in a deep breath and faced the firing squad; there was no way around it. I just had to jump right in. This was going to be the first time I talked to anyone besides Danny about this.

Time stood still and I could feel my pulse in my throat, I closed my eyes, trying to hold myself together. It was a hard pill to swallow and I was scared out of my mind. Their opinions mattered the most, these were my closest friends. We shared secrets with each other, and we kept them secrets. We were each others pain relievers and there was nothing we couldn't take on, at least until this happened; this was questionable.

"Thomas, please, you're starting scare me..." Zoe voiced quietly.

I didn't realize I had tears running down my cheeks until I heard Zoe like a gentle wind-chime. All that could be heard was the faint sound of the ocean, and the breeze rustling up the palm trees in the backyard.

"I haven't been handling life very well lately, specially my... Mom's death and..."

 _I have to spit it out, just say it, just jump in_.

I closed my eyes, took a breath. My heart getting ready to explode from anxiety; the pain and ache in my head keeping tempo with every beat my heart made.

"I tried to kill myself a few days ago." Simply spoken followed by the room going silent.

Like my room was suddenly void of all noise, the air was sucked out in that moment. Time continued to cease and I was afraid to open my eyes. The pain came back up in my chest, the sutures in my wrists felt as if they were unwinding. The urge to breakdown was imminent and all I wanted to do was runaway.

The first sound I heard was the sound of the screwdriver hitting my floor, and I was starting to think Zoe had stopped breathing.

 _This went well, right?_ I had to ask myself, I was trying to make sure I was still conscious.

I kept my eyes closed, the immediate regret of even speaking. My fists tightened, my wrists burned, my fists gave way and ached from the pressure. My head started to throb in pain, panic was soon to ensue. When suddenly, it all seemed to vanish, and I was consumed by a safety net in the form of petite arms wrapping around my waist and when I opened my eyes, I found Zoe holding me. Nathan had stood up and walked towards me, joining in on the embrace that was keeping me together.

I had no idea where this conversation was going to end up, but I was glad it ended here.

There was no yelling, there was no accusing or scolding, nothing negative. My friends were there from me when I needed them, I continued to breakdown and spill out every detail. They didn't judge me, or tell me how stupid I was; which was what I was anticipating. Nothing was said, and they didn't have to say anything.

Sometimes, saying nothing is the best thing you can do. Just listen.

"I'm so sorry, Thomas." Zoe spoke with a crack in her voice after a few moments while Nathan stayed quiet, but in his eyes I could see the tears building up before he looked away.

I still had my friends, and I was trying to focus on that, it was a big win for me. Of course, they were upset that it happened, that I had actually TRIED TO KILL MYSELF. I knew that was going to be a thing, but they were much more happy to know that I didn't succeed; they were happy that I was still here. It started to make me feel like shit, because I was so willing to take my own life and I didn't think about them.

Zoe asked to see the stitches and Nathan looked more worried now than any other time I had ever seen. We talked about the friends that didn't know, what would happen when school started in a day. Nathan talked about passing his Driver License test to change the subject. Nathan and Zoe started to bicker; Nathan was the last of us to get his license, so Zoe was cashing in all the times she had to drive him anywhere; demanding free rides all Senior year.

It was simple and easy; these were my friends. I loved the fact that not even a minute ago, I felt anxious and scared; and now, not as scared; thanks to them. I was, for the moment, alright. At least the closest to alright that I can recall. I was starting to get up high and that usually meant there was no where else to go but down.

I shook that thought from my head and watched as my friends playfully fought. We stayed out in the backyard for hours. Danny came home and met _The Weirdos_ , and we all just hung out; like it was last Summer, like nothing had happened.

We ordered pizza and we just talked, like there weren't any wraps around my wrists, covering scars that I gave myself. I smiled, a genuine smile to be honest.

But I could feel them, I could almost hear them. The secret underneath the gauze. My sutures were whispering to me, and I didn't like what I was hearing.

* * *

 **MERCY ME**

* * *

 **END A/N:** I can't thank you guys enough for even just clicking on my story, this means a lot to me because of how much I have put into it. Literally, notebooks full of notes.

If you're liking it, or loving it. Give it a review, add it, and tell your friends! Thank you again!

Until next week :)

 **CHAPTER SOUNDTRACK:**

 **Minus The Bear** -" _We Are Not A Football Team_ "

 **The Postal Service** -" _This Place Is A Prison_ "

 **Toys That Kill** -" _I'm Foaming_ "


	3. Stolen

**A/N:** Hello again, sorry about the delay. I'm trying to write as fast as I can, but I can't seem to find enough time in the day.

I hope you are enjoying the story, those of you who are reading. If not, please, feel free to let your friends know about **Wolf Like Me**. I don't really have much to say besides I hope you readers are doing well. So without anymore delay, here is Chapter 3.

* * *

" _You can't be let down if you don't expect the world, expect to lay awake there by your sleeping girl. If somebody cares then there is no way you can tell, cursed consciousness; it's your private hell_ "

- **311** -" _Flowing_ "

* * *

The last hours of Summer ticked by as the sun set and with tomorrow being the first day of my Senior year, I couldn't say I felt any better about it. Besides dread- dread was a decent summary of my current state. I really didn't feel anything towards the excitement Senior year is supposed to be.

Nathan and Zoe had gone and made plans to go out to the Boardwalk and catch a movie, they also decided to drag me with them, we always went to the movies during the summer; the only issue was, our other friends would be down there and that made me feel even worse than I already did.

Nathan and Zoe were different. I've known them since sixth grade; everyone else just trickled in. Now, our " _other_ " friends are deep into the political structure of popularity at Shoreside High. The familiar burning began, and I clenched my fist to get rid of it.

They would treat me like a leper if they found out. I would be a dead-man.

It was one thing to tell Zoe and Nathan; we were closer than magnets. We are the only three kids at Shoreside High that aren't obsessed with popularity; the bandages around my wrists classified me as definitely not normal, and certifiably weird; I would be ignored at the drop of a hat and left in the dust to become a social outcast; or the punchline in every joke.

I sighed, blowing crumbs out and taking a drink of my Coke; getting crumbs the pair of jeans I tore at the knee while skating and an old _Bomb The Music Industry!_ shirt I bought at their last show in Eagle Rock.

Amazing how a simple T-Shirt brought back the memories of that day. How that night was the first night Zoe drove since she had gotten her license, and we could all only fit in our friend Bryan's Astro Van. I remember feeling nauseous and scared for Nathan who had food poisoning three days prior, leaving him completely dehydrated. Our Friend Fred, who we referred to as Our Friend Fred, grew up in a medical background family and swore he'd be able to put in an IV drip to hydrate Nathan.

Needless to say, Our Friend Fred couldn't hold up to his family's legacy; not without a bump in the road, because Zoe wasn't used to driving the Van and hit a couple potholes; causing Our Friend Fred to miss Nathan's vein.

Nathan was so dehydrated, that his blood coagulated instantly when it spilled out onto his forearm. The only people that puked were Candice and Cody; and Our Friend Fred; all over Nathan. It was punk rock.

After that memory had come and gone, I continued flipping through the channels when an old episode of a cartoon I used to watch popped up. It was about these two beavers that could talk. They lived in a really cool damn and drank chocolate milk all day; my first thought was of myself and Danny.

Two brothers in a really nice house with no real worries. I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that our mother left us with enough money to get through college; but it wasn't like it came without a price. I still don't understand how, I'm glad she did. I was willing to put money on the fact that she wanted Danny and I as far away from Vince as possible. In the case that anything happened; but I would trade it all in for her back.

I closed my eyes tight and tried to catch the headache before it showed up, but I was too late. Fortunately it was just a dull pain.

I had been stressed over trying to figure out the strange turn of events. The fact that living with Danny was a little bit easier than I anticipated was hard to process. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, it was just something I never saw happening. I'm happy about it, my friends enjoy him, he's cool with me.

But the recurring fact that he left when I needed him, the fact that he was gone when things started to go to shit will always be in the back of my head; and that was a problem I was going to have to figure out at some point.

The front door opened and Danny walked in, shutting it behind him. I straightened up, feeling guilty, like I was wearing a sign that read ' _Hey! I was just talking shit about you!_ '

"Tommy, your weirdos are here." He announced while flipping through the mail.

The knock at the door had Danny turning to open it, letting Zoe in.

"Hi, Thomas!" Zoe smiled as she slammed the door on Nathan. He muffled a curse word from behind the door, followed by a couple knocks.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed my hoodie and slipped it on, turning to Danny to speak. We had never discussed the rules or terms of me going out. Danny looked like he was going to pass a stone trying to figure out what to say.

"I guess, be safe and not too late?" He smiled softly.

Anything can trigger a memory, a shirt or a phrase. Anxiety hit immediately, and it didn't take much for Zoe to catch on. Danny turned and started up the stairs, but then he froze; I don't think he meant it but our Mom would say that every time I would go outside to play, or when Danny went out with his friends.

' _Be safe and not too late!_ ' She would yell as we ran out the door.

My headache was back again, I felt Zoe's hand on my back. Danny turned to me from the stairs when he realized that what he said, and the affects it was having on me. I didn't know what to say, I had to get out of there. Danny and I weren't ready for this.

Zoe opened the door and I brushed past Nathan who was hushed by Zoe. She gestured towards his truck, and I kept focusing on the ground. My headache was worsening with every step. It was becoming so painful and so persistent that I was starting to think I had a tumor to worry about on top of all of this.

I tossed myself into the bed of the truck and stayed quiet, wincing from the pain in my wrists. The car roared to life and music started blaring through the radio. Zoe turned it down, then hushed Nathan again when he started to whine. The truck started to move and I focused on the road and trees around us as we drove down my hill. I became nauseous when they started to fly by and disappear in the blur of the night. This was both terrifying and beautiful, because the stars never moved; and that seemed to help.

Nathan would look over at me occasionally but Zoe kept herself turned towards me. I saw a hand, and I grabbed it; Zoe gave my hand a squeeze, giving me some of her strength.

Zoe was a tough chick, she would throw insults around and back in a flash just to show you she could play with the big boys, but she was very beautiful. Warm hazel eyes, with dark brown hair just past her shoulders. You could say she was like most girls, but she would end up punching you in the throat. I was happy to have her as my friend, specially now, her hand gave me enough strength to focus. Taking the entire drive, but it wasn't too far from my place.

After we found parking, Zoe let go of my hand and we sat in silence for a moment. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. I closed my eyes and let out a sob, trying to get all the air out of my lungs so that I could get fresh air in. The fear filling my chest when it getting worse; I was having a panic attack. I started reaching for the truck to lift myself over, barely landing on my feet. I felt like I was drowning, I felt like I was going to be crushed at any moment.

It was as if the world was closing in on me, I was suffocating, and trying to breath only made it worse. My throat was closing and every muscle in my body tensed. It was cliche, but that's a pretty accurate description of what happens during a panic attack.

I started to feel better when I caught a lungful of the ocean breeze. Once I heard the ocean, it all went away. Letting the salty air from the shore fill my lungs, I felt every tensed muscle unwind immediately like elastic snapping, relieving the tension in relief. I was able to function like a normal human being.

"Sorry..." I spoke in a breath.

"Dammit, Tommy! You scared the hell out of me!" Zoe screamed, punching me in my arm. I winced.

"Does anyone want to tell me what the fuck just happened?" Nathan looked between the two of us. "Did you just have a panic attack?"

I looked at Nathan through narrowed eyes. I wasn't certain, I wanted to speak but I needed to put myself back together. I gave a quick nod, and Nathan's eyes widened in worry.

"Thomas, are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, Nate. I'm alright, I just need a minute..." I managed while catching my breath. Zoe offered me a cigarette and I offered her a look of confusion, waving it away.

"Are you alright, seriously? That was intense, Tommy." Zoe's voice was cracking, she took a deep drag of the cigarette and tugged at my hair gently before continuing, I could see her hand shaking as smoke escaped with her words. "Please don't- do that again." Zoe's voice was as anxious as my heartbeat; showing that she was a worrywart; behind her punk shirts and combat boots.

"When did you start smoking again?" I asked with a furrow of my eyebrows. "I thought you quit." Still trying to catch my breath.

"She's on a real big Uma Thurman kick and we just finished watching _Pulp Fiction_ for the millionth time..." Nathan snagged the cigarette and took a drag.

I stared at them both, I didn't have the mental capacity in that moment to comprehend the excuse, so I just laughed it off. My attack had passed and I was feeling better than I was a minute ago; so I focused on that. I took one last lung full of ocean and cigarette before pushing off the truck.

"Alright..." Breathing out, I started to walk towards the Boardwalk with Nathan and Zoe at my flanks. "So, what are we doing exactly?" Getting back on track as we crossed the bridge from the parking lot.

"We're going to watch a movie." Zoe stomped out her cigarette with her boot and a smile. "Then we're going to fuck up some city property, Tommy!"

"How punk of you." I joked. I was trying my best to have fun, but it seemed to be impossible. I was reminded of my anxiety when I remembered that our _other_ friends were going to be there.

But the Boardwalk seemed to be a catalyst for all my worries. It had everything you would need for a night on the town, specially The Sutton Theater; they had new movies, but we went for their Terror Tuesday Nights. They played all kinds of horror movies all year round, and we were into that!

One of the things that brought us all together was when Nathan cut his finger on a loose nail in Middles School; we all huddled around him and watched. Blood was cool to us, we were weird; and we've been best friends since then. We loved anything Horror related, that's how we became friends.

Ben came along after that and though he wasn't as into horror movies, with him we completed the Four Horsemen.

Zoe was Famine, since she would never eat much besides a bag of _Hot Chettos_ ; but she would never have enough money to buy them. She would get so pissed off when they ran out too. Then when she did eat, which was rare, she ate ten times her body weight and still stayed thin.

Nathan was Pestilence; since he was always sick or always getting one of us sick. He knew what he was doing; biological warfare. Getting us sick right before something cool, like _Six Flags_ or our field trip to the Science Center and IMAX theater.

Ben was War, because where we would use our fists; Ben used his voice. He could out argue anyone, he talked well enough to get us out of any situation. He would literally rage war against his opponents in school debates. He would be able to put two friends against each other with his words.

Then there was me, I was Death. In sixth grade, we had this egg project where it acted as a surrogate baby. We had to take care of it for a week; I dropped it on the way out of class that day. Then, we were put in charge of a plant in seventh grade and were told to take care of it for the whole school year, and it would be seventy-five percent of our overall grade; I drowned it. I actually drowned a plant.

We held up to those titles till tenth grade, then we grew out of it; letting them fade away, being replaced with the constant struggle of popularity at Shoreside High I guess now I would have been known as Death for a totally different reason.

When we graduated into Freshmen, Ben forgot we were all friends. He became popular with the Lacrosse team, then joined the Debate team; and then he left us behind at the start of our Sophomore for good.

"Let's get ice cream!" Zoe cheered. Bringing me back to reality.

I almost forgot we were here. The Boardwalk! It's the major attraction to all the kids in Shoreside; Sutton Theater, for all your movie needs and cheap concessions. Shore Surf & Skate Shop, for the skateboarder or surfer in you. Oldie's Ice Cream Parlor, with a banana split and brownie fudge sundae that would make a diabetic chance their health. Plus all the little stores and the massive back-half with the carnival rides: Ferris Wheel, Spinning UFO, Zipper, Scrambler; and all the funnel cake, corn dogs, deep fried EVERYTHING!

 _America_. **  
**

The Boardwalk in Shoreside had it all, it was always full of life and it looked beautiful when the sun set.

"Let's just get ice cream after." Nathan suggested, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his t-shirt. "You get all jittery, and that's annoying to deal with during a movie.

"I'll stab you." Zoe threatened. "I know where you sleep." She continued, walking towards Nathan. Her eyes looking through him. With one eye twitching, both filled with the fires of hell itself; she turned to me. "You too..." Her eyes narrowed, "I built your bed." hissing through her teeth.

"Fuck, alright, let's get some ice cream..." I spoke quickly, not wanting to get stabbed.

We walked into Oldie's and to our surprise, it was empty. Considering it was the Tuesday before schools started. I was expecting a few more Seniors getting in on their last hours of freedom.

Zoe was the first of us to order her Double-Chocolate-Everything-On-It sundae while Nathan and I stood back, trying to pick what would put us at risk for high blood sugar; but would also taste totally worth it.

Then there was this laugh, gentle as a chime. I could have sworn I heard it before but I couldn't place it. It sounded beautiful, worry free and I wanted to know where it was coming from. It was something so happy; It was something I wanted, something I wasn't.

She walked in, surrounded by a group of her friends. Green eyes and soft pink lips, red hair coming down in curls, draped over her shoulders; a bright yellow summer dress against her snow-white skin along with a light grey cardigan sweater. For a moment, she was all I could see. She looked so familiar, then her eyes found mine and all the air in my lungs rushed out in a single breath.

"Thomas Arthur Wake." Zoe hissed again, appearing in front of me from out of fucking nowhere!

"What?" Startled, I snapped to her.

"Are you looking at Rory Cohen?" Zoe's tone was as bad as her bite, venom entwined in her name as she hissed.

 _But it is such a lovely name..._ I thought in bliss.

Rory Cohen never noticed me; she never noticed anyone. Unless you were on Varsity Football or if you had a bad attitude with the car to back it up. Not every guy could date Rory Cohen, but every guy wanted to.

"Excuse me, are you guys in line?" Her voice calmed me. Like nothing bad ever happened. I felt a cold chill in my wrists that soothed me instead of the usual burn that only brought panic.

I stared at Rory with what would have to be the look of a llama answering a math question. Time stopped moving, I couldn't speak, I could feel my heartbeat in my throat, along with every cliche in any romantic movie where boy meets girl.

"No..." I breathed, shaking my head and Nathan began to protest, so I slapped him across the chest.

Rory giggled, gave me a thank you and walked on by. I swallowed thickly, my throat dry as she passed me. _She smells really nice..._ I thought to myself.

"Thomas! The fuck?!" Nathan growled.

"S-Sorry..." I stammered in response, getting back in line.

Zoe grabbed my hoodie and tugged me down to her level.

"Damn, woman!-" I tried but I was too late.

"You are not going to fall for Rory Cohen; she's a monster." Zoe looked me in the eyes, and I saw that fire behind her glare; it scared me.

"What are you talking about, I barely even know her-"

"You don't know her!" Zoe let go of my jacket. "You are not going to get to know her, Thomas. She destroys guys; she chews them up and spits them out."

"'Wish she'd chew me up..." Nathan said to himself.

Zoe slowly turned to look up at a unsuspecting Nathan. I don't think he knew Zoe had heard him, so she smacked him upside his head to get her point across.

"What the hell!" Nathan rubbed the back of his head, turning to us in line. "If you guys keep kicking my ass, you're both walking home!"

"Empty threats, Brooks!" Zoe brushed him off like a fly and turned back to me. "Thomas..."

Rory had my attention, I couldn't explain it. Maybe we'd make a cute couple, The Nerd and The Homecoming Queen, I don't know. I could dream! It frustrated me that in situations like this, it's always been this argument with every girl that says guys are just slobs, and only want someone for sex or a hidden agenda; but not all of us, definitely not me!

Some of us really want to care for a girl, we believe we can be compatible with them; become a team, and become happy together; or maybe I just really wanted to see her naked, I don't know!

All I did know was I wanted to buy her flowers, I wanted to show her _Evil Dead 2_. I wanted to stay in my room, lay in bed and listen _The Shins_ all day with her. I wanted to have her curl up next to me, awkwardly eat her hair while we spooned cautiously for the first time.

I really wanted to know what was going on with my rapid breathing and my inability to think about anything or anyone besides Rory Cohen.

"THOMAS!" Zoe raised her voice. "Thomas..." She calmed, combing her bangs to the side with her petite fingers and a quick exhale. "Thomas, I don't think it's a good idea for you to be pining over Rory, right now..." Zoe sighed, crossing her arms.

That's when you knew she was trying to open up, trying to express honesty. The sighing and the crossed arms were vintage moves; so I gave her my full attention.

"She does look real pretty." Zoe continued. "Easy on the eyes-"

"Snow-white skin, freckles along her cheeks and her shoulders-" I interrupted, trying to give Zoe my full attention.

"Thomas!"

"Zoe!"

Zoe groaned, turned and mumbled a couple of curse words, then stormed outside.

I sighed, my headache returning in throbs for exactly four seconds. Once it past, I turned to see that I was next, Rory and her friends had sat down outside.

"I got her." Nathan said with a spoon strategically placed between his teeth; both their sundaes in his hands.

I ordered my double fudge sundae, and waited while Nathan walked outside to find Zoe. I understood Zoe's concern, Rory was the want and desire of every male student in Shoreside High. She probably doesn't remember, but there was a point in seventh grade where we were lab partners in science class; there's nothing else to that story besides me insisting I do all the work. But she actually talked to me then; she said hi to me.

The popularity system at school was no joke, you so much as fart in class, you were an outcast for the remainder of the semester. Then they voted to see if they even wanted you back on the island.

Rory was everything, and it changed a lot of the system. Girls's Swim Team Captain, Drama Club and Literature Club President.

I was on the Boy's Swim Team, and I liked plays, and I read books, comic books though mostly; we were perfect.

I guess she had always been on my mind but I just never took it seriously enough. It will never happen; it still won't. Better to settle and be happy she actually talked to me for the first time in four years.

Besides, I had a lot on my plate already, what was I supposed to do? Ask her out?

' _Hey! I'm Thomas, I just moved in with my brother who I haven't talked to in eight years after our mother committed suicide. I also tried to kill myself too! Wanna see my scars? Hang out? Date?'_ I thought to myself, shuddering at how horrible that would be; and how fast I would be rejected; a restraining order wouldn't be out of the question either.

I was nothing, I had nothing. I wasn't a jock, I didn't have a car but I at least had my license. I didn't have much to offer besides some kindness and sweet words, with a promise to never be like any of those other assholes that I've seen with her.

I could feel my wrists burn with my fists tightening, fighting through pain. I hated scumbags in general, but those guys were the worst.

 _I'm an idiot, there's no way I'm going to be with Rory Cohen; Get over it._ I thought to myself, ending it before the idea could get any bigger. Better to burn out than fade away, right?

After I got my sundae I went outside, walking out to the Boardwalk. I found Nathan and Zoe across the way by the wooden railing.

The moon was out and it looked huge. The waves softly crashing below us, against the wooden foundation of The Boardwalk. We could still see a few fire pits off in the distance from where we stood.

Zoe caught my attention with a stern look. She usually did that when she had something difficult to say.

"I'm sorry..."

There it was.

"Don't be, I know you're just looking out for me." I smiled politely.

"Yeah, I was trying to help you. But it's up to you to listen, Tommy." Zoe was still upset, she threw in a tad of venom at me in her words; I felt the sting.

She wasn't wrong, maybe right now wasn't a good idea to do anything. I liked having Nathan and Zoe around; I still wasn't sure about the others, I was just hoping I wouldn't regret tonight.

"Wanna go see this movie?" I asked with a sigh, shoving a spoonful of fudge into my mouth, Nathan doing the same. Avoiding the gnarly wave of tension.

"Less go see duh moovee!" Nathan spoke with mouthful.

"God, that's gross!" Zoe cringed from the ice cream flying out of our mouths.

"Hab sum eyes crem!" I added.

"You're lucky I tolerate the both of you- Ah! Stop it! You fucking animals!" Zoe screamed, but Nathan and I saw her smile.

This was fine, I just wished this bad feeling would go away.

* * *

"Haven't we seen this movie a million times?" Nathan complained as we started to move away from the concession stand.

"We've seen every horror movie a million times according to you, Nate." I added, buying us some popcorn and Reese's Pieces. "It's Terror Tuesday, this is tradition."

"It's a classic. You really can't talk shit on _The Texas Chainsaw Massacre._ " Zoe gently tapped the straw out of it's paper and stuck it into our extra large Coke.

Nathan couldn't argue with Zoe, specially since we had to be nice; she started coming around after our Rory argument. It was hard to understand. I know Zoe didn't give a shit about popularity, or anyone's opinion about her, or anyone in general; she hated most people. But when it came to Rory, she would turn red with rage at the sound of her name.

I watched Zoe carefully, making sure she was alright.

"Move, Wake!" Zoe piped, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Sorry." I smiled, turning to head into our theater.

We had our Zoe back.

It was a small theater, pretty simple. Nothing too extravagant, but it was what made the Sutton Theater the best. It was a place we could go to that didn't change, it was just like we remembered it as kids; the prices stayed the same too, which was a major plus.

The movie had already started while we walked around in the dark theater. We took the side seats, I took the seat closest to the isle. We split our popcorn, and Zoe was Captain of the Coke as she occupied both armrests. I kept my eyes on the screen as the grainy movie continued.

The familiar voice was back, this time in a soft angelic whisper. My stomach flipped and my heart jumped into my throat.

' _What the hell is wrong with me..._ ' I couldn't believe how cliche I was being, it was starting to make me sick. This was not the time to be feeling anything. ' _So what the hell is wrong with me?!_ ' Rory was perfect to me, but that was me.

In High School, no matter where you go, wherever you are, there will always be rumors. People will say anything about anyone; specially if it makes them seem cool.

Everyone knew about Rory, and it bothered me how most people would say she's a cocktease, or she's easy, or she's only worth it for the sex. It crawled under my skin and drove me crazy. I never noticed that with Rory, I never saw her that way.

As she passed by me, her face lit up by the glow of the screen, I saw a girl who had all the heart in the world. With how easy it was to have rumors start and spread. It was evident that even the most popular were at risk. So she built up a wall, rolled with the punches, and smiled. Everyone would smile and nod in return, because to them, she was just another pretty face. But as soon as she was gone, they were right back to bringing her down. I'd probably bet that Rory already knew who was saying what about her, but she kept that smile up; pretending like the rest of them.

I realized I had been staring at her the whole time; and she was staring back at me.

 _She's smiling at me... Quick, do something not stupid!_ Then I waved like an idiot with that same llama look I had on earlier.

She laughed at me, which wasn't hard. Everyone laughs at me; but she turned towards me. I didn't know what to do, or how to proceed. Did she want my attention?

Even in the ill lit theater, I could see her soft smile, her gentle eyes. She was offering me _Red Vines_. I know so, because she mouthed ' _Want some Red Vines?_ ' to me with a smile that had me crumbling.

I smiled politely, holding up my bag of Reese's Pieces. She frowned, then her frown turned back into a small smile. She gave me a wink before she turned back to the movie.

"Thomas!" Zoe hissed quietly.

"Whaaat?!" I whispered in a breath.

"Shh, movie." Nathan pointed to the screen, not taking his eyes off of it while he shoveled popcorn into his full mouth.

I had trouble keeping my eyes on the movie, I kept looking over at Rory; and it wasn't like we hadn't seen it a million times or anything.

The movie wrapped up and we made our way across the street to the parking lot. I took my sweater off and wrapped it around my arms to hide my wraps. We made small talk crossing the intersection light, talking about which direction we would take our horror movie if we ever had a chance to make one. Then, of course, Rory seemed to appear, from out of nowhere. Except, some guy had his hands all over her; and she had her lips all over him. They were against some type of muscle car, then I recognized who it was; Wayne Covey. He was our all start Quarterback last year. He took us to state, and was Prom king; you know, last year.

He had his hands all over Rory, and it didn't look like Rory cared; she looked to be into it. Same thing again, my headache came back. I reached for the truck, but Nathan caught my arm.

"Whoa, easy, Tommy." He caught my line of sight, watching Rory and Wayne grope each other. "Whelp, damn." he said in a breath.

"I told you so-" Zoe caught a look from Nathan and stopped, which was very rare.

I stared at the ocean, gaining strength from it the same way Superman would with the sun. I let out a breath, gathering my thoughts. I was no Superman, that was for sure.

"It's cool." I had no real emotion at this point.

Rory giggled as Wayne kissed her neck then finally moved to the passenger side of the stupid-looking-awesome-car.

I let out an uneasy breath while Rory looked at me as they drove off. The look she gave me was different than anything I had ever seen, or seen her give anyone else. It wasn't angry, it wasn't even threatening. As if she noticed that I didn't like what I saw. It made me nervous, it seemed like she knew about the butterflies in my stomach.

I swallowed thickly as Rory kept her eyes on me until they left the parking lot. I watched the red taillights turn the corner and up the hill. My heartbeat in my throat and everything kind of just going to shit.

"What did you guys think of the movie!"

 _Oh no, not now. Let's get in the truck and just go home..._ I didn't want to face them. Not tonight.

"Not like you guys haven't seen it a mill-"

"A million times." Zoe and Nathan rolled their eyes.

"Yeah... Whoa, Thomas Wake?"

Zack Quick, the most social of buttholes and the most savage of this years Shoreside Seniors.

 _More like a butthole savage, if you ask me..._

"Hey... Weren't you in the hospital a couple days ago?" Zack asked, his smile creeping under my skin; he already had a face I wanted to punch. The nonchalant way about him talking about me had me grinding my teeth.

 _How did he know?_ I looked to Nathan and Zoe, they're looks of worry didn't help me.

 _They wouldn't tell anyone._ I thought, both of them picking up on my expression; shaking their heads no. I had to trust them.

"Yeah, you were." Steven Delmar's voice came in like a weasel, high and with a slight screech. "Yeah, Rory Cohen's mom was working that night, she told my mom." Steven hung an arm on Zack's shoulder.

"God, how fucking hot is Mrs. Cohen? Fuck, how fucking hot is Rory?" Zack turned his head to Steven.

 _I'm okay... I'm okay..._ I repeated in my head

Those voices, coming out of those faces I wanted to break with my fists. I felt my headache, but my vision didn't blur. I would be able to take them out. My fists squeezed tight, my nails digging into my palms. They were pieces of shit, and if there's one thing I hate; it's actual pieces of shit.

I groaned in pain, my fists loosened and my hands started shaking from the tension I held in them; the burning in my wrists was more evident than ever, and my sweater fell from my grasp and onto the ground.

I looked out towards the small group of ' _friends_ ' that conveniently started to form in front of me. I watched it all happen in slow motion. They were all looking at my wrists. Obviously bandages which could only mean one thing.

I was now Thomas Arthur Wake, the kid who tried to kill himself.

"Holy shit, she was right!" Steven laughed. His laugh making my skin crawl.

I couldn't see anymore. Everything was blurring.

"Oh, shit. You fucking freak!"

I couldn't breath. I backed up until I hit Nate's truck.

"You can't be serious- OH SHIT! You're not kidding, Tom Wake tried to kill himself?! What the fuck, weirdo!"

I started hyperventilating. These were human beings, actual human beings. I felt my legs go weak, but Nathan was there to catch me.

"Hey, both of you. Get fucked and bail!" Nathan walked up to Zack.

"What? Are you two dating?" Zack Joked.

"You should know more about dick than anyone, Zack." Nathan stopped in front of Zack, staring him down.

"We all know who that is, _Daddy's boy_." Steven snickered.

Nathan's knuckles were white, his fists were trembling. I couldn't move, my throat was closing up and I was paying more attention to that than anything else.

"Nate..." I heard Zoe warn in a quiet tone.

Luckily, Nathan heard Zoe and backed off. Zack and Steven would both have to be idiots to try and fight Nathan. He was taller than both of them, long lanky limbs. He had reach, and they would have to make damn sure that their punches counted. I've only heard Nathan this angry once. There was silence before someone had mentioned they were only joking.

"Well it's not fucking funny, you piece of shit. Now get the fuck out of here before I break my hand with your faces."

I heard a few curse words, Steven calling Nathan a fag as they walked away, which made Nathan throw a piece of wood from his truck towards the two cowards. I knew how mad he got about that, but I wasn't about to bring that up with him right now.

"Hey, are you okay?" Zoe looked at me, my eyes slowly came back to focus, but I recognized her voice. I gave a nod.

"Let's get our asses home." Nathan gave my shoulder a firm pat, I tried, feebly to act normal.

The ride back to my house was quiet, I sat in the bed of the truck again. Keeping my eyes on the stars as my vision came back fully, no longer blurring. I was trying not to throw up from everything that happened.

That was exactly how I had thought it would have gone. In front of everyone, they made fun of me; because I tried to kill myself. I couldn't figure out what was more messed up; were they making fun of me because I tried, or because I failed?

I hopped out of the truck, turning to Zoe and Nathan.

"Hey, Thomas. Fuck those guys, you know?" Nathan tried.

"We love you, Tommy. You call us if you need anything. We'll be by tomorrow to pick you up for school, alright? I'll text you later!" Then Zoe tried.

But I didn't feel anything change.

I gave a small smile, which was the best I could do. I was happy to have them, but I just had my ass kicked mentally and emotionally; a two for one deal. I had a knack for acting, so I gave a wave as they drove off.

I sighed, my hands shoved into the pockets of my hoodie. I was trying to rationalize leaving to Mexico instead of going to school tomorrow the sound of the bushes rustling caught my attention.

"What the hell..." I stopped with a curious tilt of my head.

I slowly crept towards the sound. I had seen enough horror movies to know that doing this was a bad idea, but this was strange. There was a growl, quiet at first but then it started to get louder. Then it attacked me, it was on top of me and snarling. I couldn't get a good look at it, I was torn between fight or flight. All I saw a black mass and sharp teeth. I rolled back to my feet and sprinted to the front door.

I heard the snaps and snarls all around me as I grabbed my keys. There were thuds in the grass, rapidly approaching behind me. I got the door open and threw myself it, slamming it shut. The snarling and snapping now muffled.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Danny screamed, running down the stair case wielding a baseball bat.

So I screamed too, it's not everyday someone runs at you with a baseball bat like that.

"Oh, shit! Sorry, Tommy." Danny said out of breath. In a tank top and his boxers. He set the baseball bat down, acting totally cool now. "... How was the movie?"

My heart was beating against my chest as Danny stood at the landing. The sound of whatever attacked me had vanished. I let that relief flood over me. Exhaustion covering me as I walked across the living room.

"It was great, Danny; put some pants on." I said as I passed him on the staircase. I Just wanted to go to bed.

From this past Summer, to my attempt at suicide, to Rory Cohen, now to everyone knowing about my attempt, and whatever the hell that was in my front yard. School would most definitely be interesting tomorrow and I had the worst feeling in my stomach, my wrists kept burning and all I wanted to do was sleep.

Why is it that at night, whatever has gone wrong or could go wrong, even if it starts out as a small thought it always seems to come up right when you want to go to bed. I hated it. I missed my mom, I missed having a family, I missed being happy. I was now more so confused about everything in life, and I was just attacked by a black tornado with teeth.

I just want to go to bed.

* * *

 **STOLEN.**

* * *

 **A/N:** So there it is, I hope you enjoyed Chapter 3. I'm going to be taking some time and writing some back stock chapters so that I can keep all you readers entertained every week. I'll aim for Tuesdays, around 8pm. Western Central time. (Or, California time.) **  
**

Leave a review if you're into it, your thoughts and ideas. I love hearing feed back. Add WLM as a favorite, follow the story. I don't know, or don't. I'm just happy you read the whole thing!

See you soon!

 **CHAPTER SOUNDTRACK:**

 **Straylight Run** -" _The Words We Say_ "

 **Twenty One Pilots** -" _Ride_ "

 **Screaming Females** -" _Rotten Apple_ "


	4. Nosebleed

**A/N:** Hey! I'm still alive, and I'm sorry for the seven month delay. There has been a lot of personal issues going on in my world that I had to take care of.

Anyway, I'm back with a lot of chapters written. I couldn't publish, but I have been writing. Needless to say, this was always on my mind. So I appreciate anyone who is still reading, or has been waiting to see what was going to happen next.

Without further adieu. Here is _Nosebleed_.

* * *

" _And what's that saying again? They're only words, and words can't hurt me. Well I can't even spell them, and the cadence of what she says is swell._ "

 **Say Hi** -" _Let's Talk About Spaceship_ "

* * *

Anxiety isn't the best to have when you're trying to sleep. I'll lay down and close my eyes and when I open them, the sun will be out in what feels like moments. It'll feel like only a minute has past, and I will be exhausted.

I felt miserable, I felt gross. I stared at my ceiling, waiting for my alarm to go off. I laid there with everything that happened last night. From Rory Cohen and the odd effect she has on me, to the cool kids finding out about my attempt to Kurt Cobain myself. These were all things I didn't want to deal with on the first day of school.

There was only one way that today was going to go. I was getting ready to start my Senior year as a complete weirdo, an outcast; the kid that tried to kill himself. It wasn't going to be pretty, I was confident in that.

I groaned, pulling my pillow over my head to scream into it. Relieving some pressure that was building in my head, then my phone rang. My hand wacked around my nightstand sleepily, looking at my phone through sleepless eyes to find that Nathan was calling me.

I swiped the phone open as aggressively as I could and put it to my ear, clearing my throat to sound awake.

"Hey..." The raspy sound of my voice made me cringe, I sounded like Danny.

" _Hey, are you up?_ " Nathan sounded just as bad as I did.

"Of course I am. How else would I be talking to you?" I said sarcastically

" _You know what I mean, dick. I mean are you getting ready?_ " He growled back.

"In a little bit." I yawned. "Are you and Zoe still coming to get me?"

" _Yeah, I just got off the phone with her. Doesn't she sound like one of those martians from Mars Attacks in the morning?_ "

"I don't know, Nate. I don't normally wake my friends up at six in the morning." I tossed my legs over my bed, gasping when my feet hit the floor.

" _I guess it's just me-"_ Nathan paused. _"You alright? Did you put your feet on the floor?_ "

"Yup." I let out with a breath of air

" _Don't do that._ " Nathan said simply, then I heard the same exhale from the other line.

"Fuck you, Nate." I slowly stood to my feet with the phone still too my ear.

" _I'll be over in an hour, Tommy._ " I could hear him rushing through his room, opening his door and running through the hallway as the call ended.

The shower: it's therapeutic, it's comforting, it's healing, it's where most people get their thinking done; I wanted it to burn this feeling away.

I ran the hot water, steam filling the bathroom. Every ache and sore in my body revealing itself, the soreness was almost soothing my whole body; my arms, my wrists. I started to drift away. I felt myself lean against the tile wall, falling asleep as the hot water worked its dark magic. I turned the water to a colder temperature to try and wake myself up.

"Oh my God!" I shut the water down and wet flying out of the shower.

It worked. It woke me up, grabbing a white shirt, some khaki shorts, my wrists started to itch. I closed my eyes in frustration. Would I really need to cover them up? If Steve Delmar and Zack Quick knew about my attempt at suicide, then the whole Senior class knew too.

I changed the dressings, tightening them around my wrists. I muttered a curse word and sat down when I realized yet another hit to my social, and romantic endeavors while on the subject. If the entire Senior class knew about this, then Rory Cohen would know, if Rory Cohen knew, then I was a goner. Any chance with her fleeting by the second. She wouldn't want to be caught dead with me after today.

I walked down the stairs to find the house empty, which only made me realize that I had no idea where my brother was, when he worked, or when he would leave. Making the house feel even more vacant. It was eerie to see the house in the morning with nothing but dark corners and shadows. It gave away a haunting feeling that made my skin crawl.

I shook it off and walked into the kitchen to see if there was any hope of nourishment. To my surprise, I found a decent arrangement of breakfast items in the fridge, only breakfast items. This lead me to believe that Danny did some late night shopping.

I didn't question it, I made an egg sandwich instead. Mayonnaise and ketchup, like I had it when I was young. My mom would make it for me...

I heard Nathan's truck roll up into the driveway and let out a honk, I grabbed my hoodie and slipped it on. I had to shake off any chance of an attack. I could feel my throat slowly tighten up, so I chugged down the rest of my orange juice. It worked this time as a remedy.

I suddenly had high hopes, maybe they didn't tell anyone. Maybe Nathan spooked them; that was a snowballs chance in hell. I knew I was trying to convince myself that today was going to be a normal day, and I was okay with that. Positive mental attitude, if I think it, it will happen.

Hopefully.

I grabbed my bag and was out the door. Going down the walk way, I spotted clumps of dirt coming from the bushes. They were big paw prints, a little bit bigger than your average dog. They started from bushes across the lawn, heading towards the door. Which had to means these paw prints belonged to whatever attacked me last night.

"THOMAS! LET'S GO!" Nathan yelled from his truck as he pulled out of the driveway.

I threw my bag on and ran after Nathan as he started to drive off, hopping into the flatbed and rolling into the side.

"FUCK YOU, NATE!" I yelled.

it should be an interesting day at school.

* * *

The second we parked and got out of the truck, I immediately wanted to go back home.

"Nathan, I wanna go back home." I tried my best to hope back into the truck, but against my efforts, they wouldn't let me.

Everyone else were making their way towards the school on the hill. The giant campus with an ocean view behind the football field, red bricks and white trims, with hills of grass. It looked just like a prison; the best prison the richest families could afford.

I could feel everyone looking at me, judging me. I couldn't count all the eyes that were staring, but I could feel them. Eyes in the back of their heads, their mouths were moving, and I was assuming it was my name they were whispering.

Anxiety crawled across my skin, through my body and held my lungs tight. It was hard to breath and the on going burn in my wrists just continued to ache.

"I can't..." I breathed. I gripped the strap to my bag, watching every student walk from their cars to Shoreside High School. I looked to the ocean and took in a lungful of the salty air; It didn't help, not like before. The fear and anxiety continued. If I was wrong about my Superman theory, then I was as good as dead.

 _I wish I had just died..._ That thought surprised me, hitting me like a bag of bricks.

"Wake! Pull yourself together!" Zoe yelled at me, bringing her fist down against my arm.

"Agony!" I roared back, the sore spot as it began to burn. Zoe Castillo hit hard. I tried to keep the tears from pooling.

"What Zoe is trying to say is that we will be by your side no matter what today." Nathan interpreted.

"Is that what the bruise is for? Aw, geez, thanks guys!" I wasn't in the mood for this. I glared back at them with hate.

"I'm more than happy to give you another one!" Zoe smiled and bounced on her toes. "Love punches!"

"Why the fuck do I hang out with you guys?" I asked.

The two of them shared a glance, then turned to me and shrugged.

"Good talk." I turned away.

"Come on, Tommy. We can do this! You just need to stop over thinking, like you always do!" Zoe threw on her sunglasses, hissing at cheerleaders as they past us by. Linking her arm with mine and dragging me to the worst place on earth. There were plenty of places I would rather have been, like the sun.

I knew why they were my friends, it's what kept us so close since sixth grade, since Nathan cut his finger and we all stared at him, bleeding. We understood each other, in a small city that was derived from popularity and gossip. We didn't waste time with half of that stuff; we would be looked at and made fun of for it, but we didn't really give a shit. We were the weird in Shoreside.

We stared our walk towards campus when a _BMW_ came zooming past us, nearly taking me out; the driver would have been doing me a favor by doing so.

"Yeah, that's cool, just driving eighty miles-per-hour in the student parking lot like I ALWAYS FUCKING DO!" Zoe screamed. Like a chihuahua, she would bounce as she barked, wanting to tear after what ever pissed her off.

"Whoa! Easy, Cujo!" Nathan laughed as he wrapped one arm around Zoe's waist to keep her in place.

"Square up all goal like, you fuck! I'll beat the shit out of you!" Zoe snarled, still snapping at the car.

I was fine, I wouldn't have noticed the car until I was way up in the air. I was more interested in the song playing through the driver side door.

The door opened, and everything seemed to go quiet, I was tuned out from everything. It was the perfect introduction of the love interest in my little movie called Life.

Rory Cohen closed the door of her very expensive _BMW_ , and started walking towards me.

"I'm gonna!-" Zoe tried to continue, but her voice was muffled by Nathan's hand.

Nathan and I exchanged a glance as he pointed with his eyes towards Rory who was right in front of me.

"Oh, hi!" Immediately in embarrassment, I winced. I could never control the pitch in my voice when girls were around.

"Hey!" Rory's voice was a soft ring, like a chime, like it did at the movies last night. "Sorry, I didn't mean to, you know, almost hit you." She smiled, turning to Zoe, furrowing her eyebrows. "Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's fine. She's just-OW!" Nathan winced, obviously trying to keep his screaming down, struggling to keep Zoe from wiggling free. "She's just nervous about the first day." Speaking through the pain, through gritted teeth.

"Right." Rory's soft grin made me melt. She turned her attention to me and shrugged. "Well, yeah. Sorry!" She piped, skipping into a brisk walk towards campus.

"God damn, woman! Did you really need to bite my hand?" Nathan growled, letting go of Zoe completely as he examined the damage.

Zoe turned and punched Nathan in the shoulder, than turned back around and caught me in the back as I tried to run away.

"Fuck you both!" Zoe said in a rage, flipping off both Nathan and I, we continued our journey towards my _Mordor_.

As we walked up the steps to the main campus, I saw a face I didn't anticipate to see so soon. He caught me when I caught him, and we shared a nod..

"Hey, man!" Ben said with a hint of hesitance as he approached us.

"Hey, Ben." I stood awkwardly with Zoe and Nate and my flanks.

"Hey." They both sounded like robots. Zoe was still grumpy, and Nathan was favoring his shoulder.

Ben turned to Zoe and Nate, asking them if he could talk to me in private for a minute. They nodded in unison, Nathan gave Ben a pat on his back as they left to get their schedules for the school year.

"What's up, man?" I asked, leaning against the railing of the staircase.

"I heard about your... accident."Ben spoke cautiously, slowly.

That word, _accident_ , it made my blood boil.

"I just wanted to check on you, see if you were okay..."

 _?_ I thought sarcastically. Anger crawled up my spine.

When Ben and I talked, it was always me that kept eye contact. He would look away every other sentence, it bugged me sometimes, since he was Captain of the debate team; he argued for the school and won, and he couldn't look at me. It started to feel like he was exasperating a charitable service by talking to me. I tried to hold myself together, trying to maintain this anger, shove it back down.

"Who told you?" I asked nervously, my pulse in my palms. "Who else knows?" My throat was dry, my wrists burned intensely.

"A lot of people." Ben spoke quietly with a hint of concern.

I could feel the pressure in my chest building, if I didn't scream I would implode. If I screamed now, I would be a marked man.

"Who specifically?" I had to ask, to know how many people I had to avoid for the next nine months.

Ben was quiet and that only created more pressure. My vision began to blur and all I could imagine was red, blood red over my pale flesh; my wrists. I came to for a moment to see Zack and Steven talking to The Walsh twins; when they all turned to me and smiled, I could hear them laughing inside my head.

"Are you okay?" Ben asked with concern.

"No, no I'm not." I replied immediately. "I shouldn't be here..."

"Hey, look. You know they'll talk. Just... don't let them know it bugs you, they're like sharks in the water."

"They can smell blood? Is that what popularity is like, Ben?" Snapping at him. "Just attack the wounded?" I asked accusingly.

I was pointing my anger towards Ben, the more I thought about it, I realized I wasn't completely wrong in doing so.

"You know what I mean, Tommy."

"Well, that's going to be pretty hard to do since it's my Mother's death, and everyone making light of my attempt at suicide." I started to tail spin. I turned to Ben, trying to focus on his face. "It must be nice at the top of the mountain, huh? Not having to worry about people making fun or exploiting your failures."

I hit the ground. Explosions; everyone cheers.

My vision came back, I could hear my heart beat in my ears. I saw Ben look away like I had slapped the taste out of his mouth. That's when I realized that I may have messed it all up. It was the first time I talked to Ben and I practically chew his head off.

"Shit, Ben. I'm sorry-" I attempted to apologize. Immediately regretting my tone with him. Though, there was a part of me that thought I had done the right thing.

"It's alright, man. You're under a lot of pressure." He paused, looping his thumbs under the straps of his backpack. "I'm here if you need anything. I have a full schedule this year, so, I mean." Ben's smile appeared forced. His voice trailed, then came back. "You'll be okay." Letting out a long breath.

Nothing about what just took place sounded promising.

There was a tone to his voice that I had trouble believing. He gave my arm a squeeze, then left with his Lacrosse jocks; just like that. At least the conversation went better than I expected.

Now I just had to face the rest of the Seniors at Shoreside High. All of them.

"Hey, what's going on?" Zoe asked cautiously.

"Am I that obvious?" I turned in response.

"You look like someone kicked your dog, Thomas." Nathan's mirrored Zoe's tone.

I took in a sharp breath, watching the crowd start to scatter across the quad. Some staring at me, some looking away. I felt my anxiety climb with every voice, whisper, or murmur I heard.

"I haven't even gotten my schedule yet" Sighing heavily, "I guess I need that." I turned around with a groan, reluctant to move.

There were tables arranged according to the alphabet with teachers helping out, I stepped into the U to Z line, taking in a huge breath, letting it out slowly; calming myself the best I could.

"Name?" Ms. Guntner asked.

I looked to the teacher assisting in passing out the schedules, Ms. Guntner was an art teacher, and not a bad one either. She has had her own art pieces go for for thousands of dollars at the Shoreside art-walk.

"Wake, Thomas." I tried my best to put a smile in my response.

The look she gave me had me screaming internally; I was obvious. She grabbed the blue and white card with my name on it and handed it over. She must have thought I was in need of mercy; she wouldn't be wrong. I was in hell.

"There you go, Mr. Wake. Enjoy your Senior year!"

 _The pep in her voice, God, how the fuck could anyone be so fucking happy!?_

"Sure!" I shot and turned and ran right into Nathan. "Oh, God!" I barked suddenly.

"What do you got?" Nathan took all three of our cards.

I watched them both go over our schedules, Zoe getting happy then falling into a sad expression.

"Oh! I have Film with you!" Zoe squealed.

"No Seventh or Eight periods? Nice. Of course we've got Swim together, but that won't be till Spring. So until then, we've got weight training." Nathan sighed and clicked his tongue. "We've got Woodshop!" Smiling bright, staring at me.

"Oh, and we have Art 4!" Zoe pointed her fingers at me like pistols, firing them off with a quiet ' _Pew, pew!_ '.

I loved my friends, but this was going to be an uphill battle. I didn't have high hopes and it was only the first day. At least they would be in some of my classes, but they had their own elective courses, they had other classes. There was no way they'd be by me all year, and I wouldn't want them to have to do that.

"Yeah." Even I could hear the defeat in my own voice.

"Hey, none of that shit!" Nathan said, grabbing my shoulder. "You're going to be okay, this place isn't the end!"

When I looked to Nathan I had to look up. He stood at six feet, two inches, where I stood at six feet even. We had similar traits, people often confused us for brothers. We could have been, we've been through enough to make our friendship tighter over the years; same thing with Zoe.

"Nate, I love you and I appreciate you. But, you know this place will eat me alive and it's only the first day." I was trying to stay in control, but I could hear my voice cracking.

"We're not going to let them." Zoe spoke up. "Now, let's get going. We've got Art! ART SHIT!" Zoe cheered, patting my back until I started to move.

They were trying, and I wasn't. But I thought about it, the more I forced myself to be an optimist, the less difficult it seemed. Worst case scenario, I run away. The bell rang, and I watched those same eyes from the passing crowds, then my throat started to close up.

"We've got you, dude." Nathan's reassuring voice helped me dodge this attack.

If that happened on the steps of the auditorium, in front of everyone, I might as well just be dead.

* * *

Zoe and I walked into our first class with Ms. Guntner. The classroom started to fill, and the florescent lights caused my headache to return. I took my seat and Zoe sat right next to me, placing a small pill in front of me.

"What?" I asked simply.

"It's Advil, you jackass." Zoe asking if I was stupid with the look she gave me.

"Oh, yeah." I scrambled for the pill. Sloshing it down with some water Zoe also provided.

I looked around only to find that nothing had changed. I couldn't figure out if it was my own anxiety, or if people were actually staring at me. I doubled checked the wraps on my wrists, wondering if they had gotten loose and fallen off.

Ms. Guntner came in and addressed the class, I looked over and gave a polite smile. It all seemed fine, so I tried to keep that feeling afloat; and then roll call happened.

She called everyone in alphabetical order, they all replied with ' _Here_ ' or ' _Yeah_ '. One, after another, after another. It took a bit, but finally it came down to me.

"Thomas Wake?" Ms. Guntner called, she had a soft voice and vibrant pink hair. She wasn't intimidating, but I had been practicing my reply since she had started calling names, just in case.

"Here." I said with a raspy voice. It wasn't too eager, but I did show interest. I felt confident that today won't be like I imagined.

"Freak." Someone muttered from the back of the class, causing a few giggles.

 _Oh, God... Come on..._ I thought to myself.

I dug my fingernails into the palm of my right hand, digging into the wraps on my right wrists. The room got hotter, the air must have been sucked out completely. Nothing about this was okay, I could still hear them all giggling. I felt them all in my head, and they could see everything I was feeling, everything I was thinking; I wanted out.

As I tried to stand up, I felt Zoe's hand on my leg pushing me back down. I gave her the most desperate look to let me go, but she didn't budge; so I folded and sat back in my chair. My leg bouncing rapidly against the leg of the desk.

"What a loser-"

Zoe caught her before she could finish her sentence. Tasha Walsh sat at the table next to us. I saw the smile on her face, it made my stomach churn over and over.

"Hey, white trash." Zoe hissed. "Stop talking or I'll shove that overly priced handbag down your throat."

A blur was all I could see, students were still giggling around me. I looked down, I wasn't sure if Zoe was still talking. The pain slowly started to fade away, I'm not sure how or why. Eventually, I was alright. Damaged, but alright.

Ms. Guntner took order in the classroom, and said there would be no bullying tolerated in her class. The students got quiet, then the day began.

THEN. THE. DAY. BEGAN.

This was the first day of my Senior year, and this is how it starts. There was no way out, there was only through and I had to find whatever strength I had left to get it done.

"You okay?" Zoe asked.

"Yeah, I don't need a babysitter..." I said embarrassed.

"Oh, my God." Zoe rolled her eyes. "It's not that bad, besides, I hate Tasha Walsh anyways."

We both looked out to catch Tasha staring at us both, I looked to Zoe.

"Yes, I'm talking about you!" Zoe snapped at her. I couldn't help but crack a smile at how wide Tasha's eyes got.

"Can you really stuff that handbag down her throat?" I asked.

"I don't fucking know, but give me the chance, and I'll try." Zoe said as we took out our drawing pads and pencils.

I went into my bag to take out my supplies. After all of that, Zoe managed to make me laugh.

I can get by, I can do this. Just five more hours to go.

* * *

The rest of the day went as horrible as I had expected, I couldn't shake the feeling of anxiety. My head would pound as the feeling got worse. I wanted to leave, just go home; but I was so close to the end, I owed it to myself to get through this.

I walked down the hall of our English building with the weight on my shoulders; all eyes on me. I just kept walking, I needed to get to my locker. Relax, breath, and meet up with Nathan and Zoe for Lunch.

So far, so good. I got to my locker and put in my combination. Then I had to do it again, because it wasn't working. I started to panic when it wouldn't work the sixth time. My eyes went wide and I was about scream; or have an aneurysm.

"Come on..." I growled at the dark red, freshly painted locker that was about to have a hole punched into it.

I scared myself a bit, I was never really a violent person. But, now, I was contemplating punching the hell out of this locker just for not opening.

"Open! You stupid fucking locker!" I hissed.

"Excuse me." It was a female voice, gentle with a slight lisp. To be honest, I thought I was hearing things. I thought no one was going to talk to me, ever.

I was able to hear it while cursing at an inanimate object. It wasn't my proudest moment. But I turned to see a petite girl, pale. You would think that with the sun outside, most of the girls in Shoreside would have color to their skin. But she had a rose-pink hue to her cheeks and chocolate colored eyes, with a light-brown pixie cut, just above her brow and the nape of her neck.

She was also someone I didn't know.

"Hi..." I said, slowly.

I turned to my locker and realized she must have seen the whole fight.

"I'm sorry, did you see that?" I continued with a laugh. I did what I do best; I just kept talking. "It's my first day with him, and, we got off on the wrong foot here... I wasn't going to hurt him!" My laugh turned into a nervous chuckle.

 _Maybe I just have bad luck with women..._ I thought.

She laughed, to my surprise. No one thinks I'm funny. Not Nathan, not Zoe, not even me sometimes. But she smiled and played along.

"I just... You know, I didn't want to see anyone get hurt." She added to our improvised conversation. "Also, I know how he is... he was my locker last year."

 _Thank God, I was about to tear the door off._

"Oh, perfect. My saving grace." I cheered, moving out of the way to let her take the lead.

"See, when you lift to open it, you have to," A small grunt escaped her tiny frame as she yanked the locker door open. "Pull! At the same time..." She offered a small smile in victory.

"Hey, thank you!" I spoke with a laugh.

I was genuinely happy, this was a nice thing that someone I didn't even know did for me. She saw me struggling and came to help; I wonder why more people couldn't be this way.

"You're welcome, Thomas." She smiled.

 _How does she know my name?_

"How do you know my name?" Concern in my voice.

She laughed and pointed to herself.

"Come on, you got it, we've been in school together for the last six years..." She laughed.

I've never felt like a bigger asshat. Here I am complaining about popularity and people not giving a shit, and I can't even remember the name of this person that has apparently known mine for the last six years.

"I..." I stammered. "You are..." I continued to dig my grave deeper.

"April Gates-"

"APRIL GATES!" I cheered. I'm going to have to see the doctor for my foot in mouth disease.

"You got it, good job!" She said, heavy with the sarcasm.

"I'm sorry." I winced. "April, thank you for being my knight in locker armor."

Before she could reply, I heard the voice from the theater, the voice from earlier; the voice of my dreams.

"Ape!" Rory cheered as she came down the stairs.

She turned to me and shooting me with that smile of hers. It still had the same effect and left me leaning against the lockers for stability.

"Hey, Reese's Pieces." Her smile like bullets through me.

 _She remembers the candy!_

"This is Thomas." April laughed, staring at Rory with a hesitant smile. Then her expression changed to disbelief. "We've all been in the same school for the last six years."

I chuckled. I guess no one is perfect.

"Oh, he has a name." Rory grinned.

I was putty, I was a goner, I was pretty sure my mouth was open.

"Oh, well. It was nice to put a name to the face, Thomas." Rory said, turning and taking April with her.

"Be nice to my locker, you neanderthal!" April yelled back.

"Bye, Reese's Pieces!" Rory gave a wink before they both left the building and turned towards the quad.

I. Was. Done.

"Thomas." Nathan appeared from out of nowhere, giving me a heart attack.

"FUCK!" I screamed, throwing myself against the locker in a flinch of fear.

"Come on, let's get some food!" Nathan laughed.

There wasn't enough hate in the world to put in the stare I had for him.

* * *

Here I was, outside my last class of the day; Honors Creative Writing. Lunch was fine, I didn't really eat much and Zoe and Nathan kept arguing about who has played Batman better.

I went through my bag for my schedule, making sure I was at the right classroom. The teacher was Mrs. Roe, I had never had her class, I was certain I was going to be placed elsewhere. Mrs. Roe was an AP teacher, but I still didn't feel like I was a well enough writer to be in her program. The students that took her course had gotten grants and full rides to colleges all over the nation. I guess I was lucky.

I was checked in the shoulder and had my face pushed right into the door. I winced and regained focus.

"Move, fucker."

I looked to the source of the voice and then looked up a bit more to find Adam Bane; the class jackass and resident bully.

"What the fuck are you going to do, faggot!" Adam hovered over me, staring down.

The door swung open, almost hitting us both. Mrs. Roe appeared, looking to me, then to Adam. She gave him a stare as Adam straightened up and presented himself as a sophisticated asshole. She turned back to me as I turned away from Adam.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Creative Writing. This is an Honors class and goes great on a College Transcript with my name right next to it." She stared at the line of us. She turned to Adam "Don't make me regret putting you in this class." The expression she gave to Adam and I had a literal ' _Do not fuck with me.'_ message.

I walked in, ignoring Adam and realizing that this was a class I didn't have Nathan or Zoe in. I took in a deep breath and held it, focusing everything I had to slow my heart and maybe pass out. I got to my desk, sat down. Took out my notebook, and tried not to panic.

 _Just breath, you got this, stay frosty._ I repeated in my head.

The class was going well, so far. Mrs. Roe was shaping to be a favorite of mine. She was witty, steadfast, and intelligent. Everything seemed to be going too well. I was almost out. But, nothing had happen and it was starting to make me panic.

"Okay, we all have something that means the world to us." She smiled, addressing the class. "A word, a sentence. Those hold so much weight, a lot more than anyone else could possibly imagine."

I looked around the classroom at the sleeping students, it was sad. I couldn't blame them, after three months of unadulterated fun, we were all dead. Kids passed out in their desks, or completely checked out mentally.

Mrs. Roe took her copy of Edgar Allen Poe collections, which was at least a thousand pages, and let it drop onto the floor. I laughed when the thud echoed in the room, it was a symphony of screeching chairs and nonchalant coughs.

"Thomas." She called for me.

 _Oh, shit..._

"Yeah?" I spoke quietly.

"Do you have something that means the world to you?"

The question echoed in my head, I could feel their eyes on me. Everyone was staring, waiting for me to fail. I took in a deep breath to steady myself and thought about my mother. More so about what she would say, what she would do.

I looked to Mrs. Roe and gave a nod, swallowing thickly and biting the inside of my cheek.

"Well, would you mind coming up here and showing us?" Mrs. Roe stepped away from her desk.

I stood up on autopilot. Half of me screaming to sit back down, but the other half with an urge to keep moving. To be brave, something strange took over me and I wasn't going to waste the time worrying about it.

I got to the board, and started to write with the small piece of chalk between my thumb and index finger. Shaky as I pressed the white powder to the rough surface. I just wrote what meant the world to me, for the woman who gave it to me, and I wrote it as fast as I could.

"Love awaits the strange." Mrs. Roe gave a smirk in appreciation. "I like it, Thomas."

"What a weirdo, did your mom tell you that?" Adam Bane's voice hit me like a punch in the face.

 _Everyone's laughing at me..._

I could feel myself start to panic, my chest getting tighter.

"Hey!" Mrs. Roe spoke up. Trying to defend me.

"Right before you tried to killed yourself, right, Thomas?"

I wasn't sure if that was Adam, or someone else in the class. All I knew was that they were laughing, all I could feel was my wrists burning, my head aching, my breathing becoming more shallow, my vision blurring.

I started to walk, and my legs felt like jello. I tried to grab onto a desk for stability, but I couldn't hold on to it. Then, I placed a hand on what I thought was a chair but turned out to be another student that moved out of the way, making me fall forward.

I heard a gasp, someone scream, and a desk move. Then I heard the sound of my head bouncing off the floor before everything went dark.

At least I nailed the landing.

* * *

I slowly came back to reality in a really bright room, and the smell of rubbing alcohol.

 _Vinegar..._ My eyes shot open in fear.

I shot straight up, and that was the worst thing I could have ever done. I felt my body catch up with my mind. The pain in my head was far too much for the rest of my body to understand. The room spun and I immediately felt sick. I took in a deep breath, hoping it would help. But this wasn't anything like I had experienced.

"Whoa, hey." A soft voice cooed. "Come on back here, Reese's Pieces." I felt petite hands pushing me back gently, on a cot?

I looked around, my vision coming back to me and the room started to slow it's spinning. I blinked a few times to see if that would change anything. I did everything to keep my lunch down.

"Where am I?" I groaned, putting a hand to my head and feeling a bump.

The same petite hand held on to mine and brought it back to my side. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, blinking a few times as it finally registered. I slowly looked over to my left, and I saw Rory, she was right there next to me.

 _Oh my fucking God, she just held my hand._

I shot up in surprise and turned to her, not really learning from my previous decision, then made a sound that wasn't the most flattering and laid right back down.

"Hey, what did I just say?" Rory said in a laugh. "Stay down." She smiled.

After a moment, my eyelids narrowed, I bit the corner of my lip, and I took a couple breaths just to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

"What happened?" I asked, turning to her.

The only sound in the room was the thin paper on the cot I was laying on, rustling under me with my movement. I couldn't stop looking at Rory, she was beautiful. Her green eyes calmed me and her smile made my head feel a little better.

"Well, from what I gathered." Rory continued to smile, taking an ice pack and pressing it to my bump. "You fell, hit your head, big boom. Now you're here."

The ice pack pressed to my head felt amazing, I closed my eyes and instantly started to feel everything go from horrible, to slightly okay. I reached up to grab the ice pack, she slapped my hand playfully and I gave a strange look.

"You're not supposed to be moving, Thomas." Rory continued, she was now serious Rory, apparently.

"I think I'm okay now." I let out in a rough whisper, sitting up and facing her.

Rory and her smile, her light red curls were draped over her left shoulder, I could feel her eyes on me, and it wasn't like the others. These eyes I didn't mind.

"So, you wanted to hang out with me so bad, you offered to take care of me in the Nurse's office?" I laughed. I blushed a bit.

"No." She huffed a laugh. "I was here for a nosebleed, it kept leaving and going. It does that, so they asked me to stay and make sure it was done. Then they carried you in." She laughed a bit harder. "They asked me to stay and help out."

"Icing my big head?" I joked.

"Fifteen minutes on, Fifteen off." Rory smiled. "They were worried about a concussion."

The nurse walked in, noticing I was sitting up. She gave me the standard exam, asking if I was nauseous, then asking me if I felt sleepy. After ten minutes of trying to convince the nurse that I was okay, she let me leave.

Fortunately they had brought my bag with me. I was thankful for that, the thought of going back into class made me want to vomit. It was nearing the end of the day, the first day of my Senior year; and I was walking along side Rory Cohen. Out of everything I anticipated for today, I didn't expect this.

"So what happened?" Rory asked me as we walked out of the main office building.

"Oh," I cleared my throat. Having to relive yet another highlight of my life. "I was in Mrs. Roe's class and..." I stopped, chewing the corner of my lips. "Well, I guess I just had a long day." I kept it short, and nothing about my headaches, my wrists, or Adam Bane.

Rory was quiet, she gave a nod. She held her binder close to her chest, the red cardigan sweater bringing almost matching her light red hair, her green eyes appearing darker. She was perfect with the wind blowing her curls up gently.

"I mean, what happened with... you know." Rory gestured to my hand; more so my wrists.

I had the air knocked out of me. This was never a situation I imagined myself in with Rory, so I didn't know how to react or what to say. I started to feel anxious. It felt like forever and I still hadn't said anything besides a few sounds and a click of my tongue; trying to build my wall.

"It's okay, you don't have to," Rory stopped, she looked up to me. "You don't have to say anything, Thomas." She smiled softly.

There was a small silence between the two of us in front of the auditorium, where we stood with the leaves of the sycamore trees falling down in colors of yellow and brown. The smell of Fall approaching and Rory still smiling.

"You know." My voice came out live gravel.

I could see it in her eyes, how she looked at me. How she hovered over me at the Nurses office, taking care of me.

"Yeah, my mom was the nurse that took care of you." Rory bit her lip, looking down at the floor.

"So much for confidentiality." I joked.

"I'm sorry, I won't tell anyone." Her head raising up, her eyes wide and apologetic.

"It's okay, they all know anyways." I let in a long breath.

"Hey," Rory's soft voice taking all of my attention. She gently pressed her fist to my chin and gave me a tap. "Chin up."

I gave a nod, with what I imagined was a smile. I felt like this was okay. Rory opened her binder and started scribbling something down, tearing the piece out and handing it to me.

"I'm sorry, this place is a prison." Rory's wasn't wrong. "But now you have me." Gentle tone lifting my lips into a smile. She turned to leave, heading towards the staircase to the parking lot. Looking to me before she headed down the stairs. "I'll see you around, Reese's Pieces." Giving a smile, and a wink. Then taking her leave.

The bell rang, the quad filled instantly. Rory Cohen had left, but I was still smiling. This wasn't anything I was ready for, nor anything I could imagine. I looked down to the piece of paper she had scribbled on to find her phone number.

"No way..." I smiled.

It may have not started in the best way, but this day wasn't too bad. I took in a deep breath, my head hurting and my wrists burning as I made my way to Nathan's truck.

I was waiting for Nathan and Zoe, I was waiting to go home and all I could hear was howling. I argued that I must have hit my head pretty hard, considering going back to see the school nurse when it suddenly all made sense. I was crazy, I had to be. This didn't make sense, I had to be wrong. But, the evidence held up. The howls, the black mass with sharp teeth that wanted to eat me last night, the huge paw prints in the walkway. It was too strange, Shoreside was never known for them, they wouldn't last out here in beach cities.

 _No... wait a minute, no_. I thought to myself. _No._ I repeated, crossing my arms and leaning against the truck. Every time I denied it, my head would seem to hurt. But this was ridiculous, it was outrageous.

I was under a lot of stress, I just had the worst first day of school in the history of ever, falling down in front of Adam Bane and the rest of the class was no help either. Now, I'm not trusting myself to even consider what I though could be remotely true. It was outlandish and psychotic; and the last I checked, I was still sane! Angry and sad, but sane; and there are no wolves in Shoreside!

There are no wolves in Shoreside.

* * *

 **NOSEBLEED.**

* * *

 **End A/N:** There you go, thank you very much for reading. I hope you're enjoying it so far. If you're holding on, thanks again. There is more to come, and **I love reviews _._** So if you feel like leave one, please feel free to do so.

Subscribe and follow! Thank you again for checking out Wolf Like Me.

 **CHAPTER SOUNDTRACK:**

 **TV On The Radio** -" _Happy Idiot_ "

 **Prawn** -" _Scud Running_ "

 **Fight Like Apes** -" _Tie Me Up With Jackets_ "


	5. Simple Talks

**A/N:** Thank you for those that are still with me here, sorry. Work has been busy, so I haven't been able to publish as much as I'd like. Also, my internet took a crap on me and it's impossible to arrange for someone to come out and fix it.

But here's chapter 5, I hope you all enjoy it. Leave a review, tell your friends. I'm going to upload a couple more chapters just because!

Thank you!

* * *

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the week had come to an end; it was Friday. I thanked whatever God had a hand in not letting me lose my grip.

So far, the first day of school was the absolute worse; besides Rory helping me. The week was just like I anticipated: people calling me names, making fun of me for trying to kill myself, calling me weird, freak, and a loser. Exactly what I thought was going to happen.

Adam Bane continued to remind me how horrible of a human being he was by tearing me down in every possible way. And where Adam lead, others would follow.

But the week was over now, and I had the whole weekend to repair my mental wounds.

I was in my room, working on my Creative Writing assignment. Mrs. Roe had us elaborate on what meant the world to us. It was frustrating, considering that I was dumb enough to think that standing in front of everyone would be a good idea. I walked to the board to participate in the topic, despite everything that happened that day. As soon as I did this, Adam Bane was there to remind me that that would never be a good idea. Every had their fun that day, except for me. It prevented me from writing, it was the worst writers block, insecurities and dread.

' _You're such a great writer, you just need to do it. You're not a failure until you stop trying.'_

I set my pencil down, closing my eyes when my mother's words popped into my head. I loved the memories I had of my mother, but now when I remember her, it becomes difficult to breath. Anxiousness, the burning in my wrists, and the pounding in my head. I'm scared because I don't want that to happen every time I think about her. If I think of her face, her laugh, her voice; I don't want to feel terrified of an anxiety attack, I just want to remember my Mom without fear. I gulped down some water, feeling my throat loosen and my mind ease a bit.

I finished up, collecting my papers and put them in my English folder. Leaving my room and into the hall, I caught the smell of something delicious, I followed the scent to the backyard where Danny had the grill going; a beer in one hand while he flipped some steaks with the other. He tilted his bottle towards me as I walked over.

"What's the occasion?" I asked curiously. I pulled myself onto the marble counter of the patio.

"Aren't you hungry?" Danny gave me a questioning look. "I went grocery shopping, there's plenty a food in the fridge to make us lethargic, diabetic, and fat."

I laughed and realized that Danny seemed to have his own ways of expressing himself, and I think grilling and drinking beer were a few of them. It wasn't my way of going about things. I most likely would rather not talk about it, or maybe just stuff it all down and forget it entirely. I kept forgetting that I haven't seen my brother in eight years. It was hard to fall into a routine with him, let alone try and understand him as Daniel Garret Wake. We seemed so different from each other.

But if this was how he coped, than who was I to judge? Anyway, anything was worth a try.

"So how was work?" I asked, awkwardly.

"It was alright. I'm working on my first cartoon with the company. I'm pretty excited about it. I'm actually one of the assistant storyboard artists." Danny said excitedly, but not going into too much detail.

I had trouble thinking of things to say, conversation starters or topics to talk about. This was an opportune moment to try and get to know my brother; and it was becoming painfully awkward.

The sun was setting, some seagulls flew squawked over us, the ocean's waves could be heard from the backyard. Other than that, we couldn't have been any more silent. We literally had nothing else to talk about; Well, besides school anyway. But that was a topic I wanted to stay as far away from as possible.

"How was school?" Danny asked, keeping his eyes on the grill. "I don't think I asked you at all this week."

 _Well, fuck..._

"Well, uh..." Should I lie? Tell him it was great? Tell him I had such a fun time with all the popular kids?

I hated it, every second I was there felt like I was being hunted down by poachers. Hungry, teeth chomping at the bit. Wanting nothing more than to attack and dissect me, exploit me. Then, having to rely on Nate or Zoe; it was like being invited to play a game only to find out that the game was called ' _Scar Thomas For Life'._

"It was cool." I said simply, the ocean breeze rustling the palm trees above us.

Danny kept to his grilling, he didn't question anything or pry for anymore information. I just sat there in silence. Like my brother was a complete stranger, the resentment I held for him was lingering in the back of my mind. Like I should be angry with him, I should be yelling at him instead of telling him about my week, and how things went with this or that.

Holding my breath, trying not to get angry. I couldn't just unload on Danny right now, it wouldn't make any sense. He's done so much for me, it wouldn't be right.

"Alright, well, the food is ready." Danny announced.

I blinked owlishly for a moment, looking to Danny and saying a couple choice words in my mind. I helped take the trays back into the kitchen. We served our own plates and sat down across from each other at the dining table; the house feeling emptier with the sound of our utensils hitting our plates.

My phone went off, which was a bit of a life saver. It was Ben calling me to my surprise. I stared at my phone as if it had asked me to scratch it's back. I swiped it open and held it to my ear.

"Hey, man."

 _"Hey, what are you doing?"_ Ben asked, air in the background of the phone call, it sounded like he was driving.

"Just eating, why?"

 _"I was wondering if you wanted to meet up for some coffee or something?"_

The last thing Ben had told me was to simply act like nothing was bothering me on the first day of school, to not show what everyone was doing to me. Not very sound advice coming from my best friend. He was certain he was falling into the in crowd, so I took his advice with a grain of salt but he at least still talked to me.

"Sure... Boardwalk? In about an hour?" I asked, not entirely sure about this meeting.

 _"Yeah, take your time. Jess and I are going to get some food first._ _"_

 _Jess?_ I thought, _which one?_

"Yeah, man. I'll text you." I spoke, picking at the vegetables on my plate.

The call ended and I slipped my phone back into my pocket. Jess was a very common name, there are plenty of Jess' at Shoreside High; I wonder if this was a Jess that has called me a weirdo yet. Maybe someone Ben had the hots for, she must have been popular too. He had just broken up with...

 _Crap, what was her name..._ This was going to bug me if I didn't figure it out.

"It looked like you enjoyed that call." Danny spoke with the food in his mouth tucked to the side.

"Ashley!" I barked, like a sneeze that finally came out; that itch finally went away. I looked to Danny, realizing what he had said. "What? Yeah, it's fine." I shrugged.

"You don't seem too enthusiastic about it. I thought Ben was your boy." He kept to his plate, moving his food to the side to speak between chews.

"He is, I guess. I don't know. It's just been... weird." I kept my eyes on Danny. "It was kind of difficult at school this week, it was rough."

This was it, I'm going to open up to my brother. Hopping boarders and expending our Brotherhood.

"Oh, yeah?" Danny kept his eyes on his plate.

You could feel how awkward it became immediately, you could see it; it was like the awkwardness had manifested itself at the dining table, to my left, just waving! I had to leave, I was pretty much finished with dinner. I stood up and took my plate to the sink.

"Heading out?" Danny asked, still sitting at the table.

The look on his face gave me a guilty feeling. It was no secret that we weren't exactly on the same page, but it felt like he heard what I was thinking. It felt like if I left, I would be hurting him in someway.

"Yeah, Ben and I are going to get coffee- I'll be right back." I tried to sound convincing in wanting to stay home.

"Ah, don't worry about it. I think I might head out too; do you have your keys?" Standing up to put his plate in the sink. He shot me a quick glance.

I jingled my keys that I kept on a carabiner hooked through my belt loop. I turned to leave.

"Careful, kid." Danny chose his words carefully.

The last time we said bye, I lost my mind, literally. I wasn't in a rush to have that happen to me again. So I gave Danny a wave as and took my leave.

There was a cool breeze and of course I could smell the salt in the air from the ocean. I decided to walk to the Boardwalk, It wasn't terribly far, figuring it would give Ben enough time to finish his little date with Jessica; at least I think they're dating. The ocean looked huge, with how far away I was from the boardwalk; I felt meaninglessly small compared to the big blue. It helped me along with the wind against my skin and the warmth from the sun. I felt good enough to smile; Rory being brought to the forefront of my mind in that moment.

She was an impossible thought, there was no way I could think of her without hearing her laugh, or seeing her smile. This could all just be lustful attraction. I don't believe in love at first sight, there's no such thing. It's a hidden fact that people are attracted to others based off of their appearance. It matters what you wear, how you look, what your hair is doing, your weight, your complexion; all of it will get you the attention you want. So if you were over weight, too skinny, had acne or were still getting hair cuts by your childhood barber; you were out of luck. People walk around, judging books by their covers, the most horrid being the ones with the best smiles. But if you talked to the girl who was standing in the corner at the party with her bottle of water, biting her nails and picking at her clothes because she felt so thin and unattractive. You might see past her acne scars and find someone who had a heart made of gold, or if you said high to the slightly chubby kid instead of calling him a fat-ass; you would find a friend that would last a lifetime.

 _If that's the case, wouldn't Rory fall into the category of the monsters behind the smiles?_ I stopped at the light, I was close to the boardwalk now. I wondered if Zoe was right. If I should really be afraid of Rory Cohen.

I kept walking once the light turned green, that thought causing me more of a headache than anything else. Soon, I was walking the deck of the Boardwalk. It was filled with people going about their and little kids, familiar faces from school that had me keeping my head down.

 _Just get to the coffee shop, I knew this was going to happen._ Thinking, keeping to myself.

I practically ripped the door off it's hinges and threw myself into the coffee shop, causing a scene as I did so. I got away from all the eyes outside, but now all the eyes in the coffee shop were aimed at me. I swallowed nervously, taking a step forward.

"Hey!"

I turned to my right, the source of the sound. Ben was sitting on the lower patio against the huge window, it was just him and that gave me some relief. I walked down the small staircase and took my seat. Simple nods, smiles.

"Where's Jess?" I asked, still uncertain as to which Jess we were speaking of.

"Oh, she had Dance practice so she went back to school. I'm picking her up later." Ben spoke, raising his hand to flag down the server.

They dropped down two _Oreo_ Cookie Frappuccinos. The two towers filled with _Oreo_ goodness. I looked across the table at Ben with a bit of confusion. I hesitantly reached for my drink.

"What?" Laughing while I picked around the chunks with the straws.

"Yeah, don't worry, boy. I got you!" Ben laughed.

"Thanks, player!" I hooted.

We drank our drinks and talked about the Summer, mostly Ben and his Summer. I didn't feel up to talking about everything with him just yet, I was still bitter. I was strange, because that familiar friendship was still there. But, I was afraid it was fleeting. Ben Echo had been my friend for quite some time, and in that time we had become best friends. We made a friendship that was different than Nathan and Zoe; Ben became a brother to me, another me. I could talk to him about everything. It wasn't until recently that I realized it was all up in the air now. A weird limbo, plagued by popularity.

It had felt like an hour had gone by, the sun was just about done setting and Ben and I walked out onto the Boardwalk.

"Hey, I'm sorry about how I handled everything at school." Ben turned to me, giving me his full attention.

My eyebrows furrowed and my left eye went wide; Ben Echo was apologizing to me.

"It's cool, man. I was acting like a dick too." I pushed a smile out, this was strange.

We both laughed, and for a moment, we just started talking. About new records from our favorite bands, making plans to go see some bands. A four horsemen moving night, which actually brought a genuine smile to my face.

I could be completely wrong about Ben, about everything. I was too tightly wound up. A panic-bomb.

"I'm sorry about your mom, Tommy." Ben spoke quietly, looking at me through his eyelashes.

I had walked right into it, I let my guard down and it felt like I walked right into a brick wall. It crept up on me and slowly started to take over, I took in a breath and stared out to the sea; shutting off for a few seconds.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just, having a panic attack." I caught his look of concern. "It's okay, this happens." I took in a huge lungful of salty air.

It must have done the trick because when I opened my eyes, I didn't feel like I was suffocating at all. But Ben had grown quiet, awkwardly standing a foot away from me.

"Sorry..." I cleared my throat.

"It's okay." Ben said with a shrug. "We all go through things."

Another silence, the strange drift was back, and it was becoming odd. If we had fought, it would have made a little more sense. But nothing had happened, he had a tendency of being a dick; but I doubt he registered that. I understand that some people don't know how to help people grieve. He could have called, he could have come by to see me after the services.

 _Bad, bad._

"Alright, well. I've gotta go get Jess." Ben came in for a hug bye. Manly hugs.

"Hey, which Jess?" I asked, I needed at least this to be answered.

"Jessica Patterson." Ben smiled softly. "It's okay, she's anti-bullshit. She knows, but she doesn't care. I'll introduce you two later, she wouldn't mind meeting you at all."

My eyebrows raised, huffing a laugh. I found it hard to believe that in Shoreside, there was someone that was ' _Anti-bullshit.'_.

"Be safe, trust no one." I spoke to him as he walked across the bridge towards the parking lot on the sand.

"Always!" Ben shouted back.

I was uncertain when school started, but there was something there for sure. I knew that something was off. But was it Ben? Was it Danny? Was it everyone else? Maybe it's me, maybe I'm the one that's off.

 _I did try to kill myself, my mom did kill herself._ The heavy thoughts only piling up.

I didn't even need to think about it, I knew I wasn't whole. I was hurt, bad. But, there was one thing I was good at, and it was pretending that everything was fine. Fake it till you make it. I mean, maybe if I keep this charade up, I'll actually fall inline with it.

I walked the Boardwalk and off in the distance I could see Zoe running straight towards me.

"WHY HAVEN'T YOU ANSWERED YOUR PHONE, DICK!?" Zoe roared as she leaped, falling onto me. **  
**

"STITCHES!" I barked back, wrapping my arms around her with a wince.

The sharp pain shot up my arms, trying to catch Zoe and steadying myself. The muscles I had abused not so long ago being forced to work, putting all my effort in keeping Zoe and I on our feet.

"Shit!" I cursed. "What's your problem!? Did you forget that I opened my veins!" I barked in anger.

I yelled a little too loud, I had a few familiar faces on the Boardwalk staring at me; entertained.

"Go fuck yourself!" I shot back, an arm reaching and turning me around.

So, maybe I wasn't always able to pretend. I did have a temper, and that usually was the first to break.

"Calm your ass down!" Nathan ordered.

"I'm sorry..." Zoe's voice was like the expression on her face, worried and upset.

I needed to breath, I gently pulled away from Nathan. He warned me and I gave a gesture to let him know I was okay. Leaning against the banister and looking down into the water. The night started to flood back to me.

"Thomas?"

"Tommy?"

I heard their voices, but it only became part of the scene I was fixated on, the scene playing on a loop. My bloodied bed sheets, the window was open. I could see it all again, I was staring at my ceiling, the fan was moving slowly. The moon outside my window, and someone pounding on my door.

"Thomas!"

I turned to the sound of the voice, confusion on my face; something I didn't expect.

"Hey, Rory." I spoke softly as she neared me.

She wrapped her arms around me, carefully, which I appreciated. I could hear my two friends next to me mutter their own comments.

"Oh, she gets the nice hello, but when I do it, I get yelled at..." Zoe spat under her breath.

"Yeah, well, you kind of went at him in a cross-body position, and that's threatening." Nathan corrected as he explained to the best of his ability using his hands.

I heard the smack and I could feel Zoe rolling her eyes. I was more preoccupied with Rory, I couldn't keep my eyes off her. It was intoxicating when she smiled and the rosy pink hue to her cheeks only made me wonder if I had anything to do with it.

"What are you guys up to?" Rory asked, her hand on her hip, her lips curved into a small smile..

 _She smelled really good, she was making me nervous with that smile of hers._

"We... Uh..." I spaced, I resorted to smiling like a hyena. I did that when she smiled at me; I was at her mercy. "I think.. we were." I turned to my friends.

"We were going to head to Skyline" Nathan added with a smile.

"Already have plans? Boo..." Rory pouted. "I was wondering if you'd like to come with me on our movie night." She added, with her round eyes staring up at me.

"Sorry..." Puberty came up and let me know it was still there with my voice going high an octave. My face turned red, but Rory just giggled softly.

Part of the reason why I was nervous was her preppy friends, the popular kids that would call Daddy if they got punched in the face, or called a name better suited for them. They were looking at me, they knew. Talking among themselves and pointing. I could feel the heat.

"It's okay..." Rory spoke softly, soothingly, she probably noticed how tense I got. "I'd like to hang out soon though, Tommy." She added, "Please?" Her lips formed a curved smile that made her lips pucker.

I was beginning to think that there wasn't anything wrong with me, that I genuinely liked Rory Cohen. I didn't just want to hang out with her, I wanted to be with her. That thought became crystal clear when she took my hand.

"Tommy?" Rory spoke with a small laugh, giving my hand a squeeze to pull me out of my bliss coma.

"What?" I muttered out of my thoughts. Laughing along with Rory. "Yeah, of course. I'd love to." I answered finally.

"Promise?" Rory looked up to me hopeful.

"Promise." I felt the blood rush to my cheeks, holding my breath.

She pulled away, caressing my hand before she slipped back into her group of Preps. She turned back before she walked up the walkway to the theater, shooting me a wink and giving a wave bye.

What was I doing?

"Oh my fucking God." I released in a breath. "I can't breath."

"Oh, shut up." Zoe groaned as she started to walk.

"Did Rory Cohen just say she wanted to hang out with you?" Nathan asked in disbelief, and I couldn't blame him.

"Yeah, I think," I still couldn't believe it. "I think she did."

"She's bad news, Tommy!" Zoe barked from a couple feet away.

Nathan and I looked over to her, both our faces with looks of confusion. Zoe was back to her Anti-Rory antics.

"She's... God, you boys are all the same..." She huffs out a cigarette.

"What? Naive?" Nathan suggested

"Assholes?" I asked

"Impossibly good looking?" Nathan continued.

"No," Zoe turned to us both, stammering a bit. I could see a vein in her temple. "Fucking idiots!" She cursed with clenched hands.

Well, she wasn't wrong. Zoe held her tongue as we walked down the boardwalk. Where Nathan kept going on about Rory Cohen, the most beautiful girl in school and the most popular in the ranks wanting to spend time with me; with me! A nobody, a dweeb, a weirdo, a freak. I still couldn't wrap my head around it, but I wasn't going to let this wave go without a good ride.

We had to listen to Zoe go on about everything. Rory this, Rory that, Nathan pay attention to the road; all the way to Skyline. Luckily I was in the flatbed, but when Zoe wanted me to know something, I heard it. She made damn sure.

What was troubling was Zoe's relentlessness. I understood that Zoe never liked Rory, most girls didn't. To be perfectly honest, most girls hated most girls. If there was ever a situation at school where violence was allowed for a period of time; all the girls at Shoreside would eat each other.

But Zoe's hate for Rory was so profound, like it had too much depth behind it. I was too afraid to ask. Nathan parked his truck in the usual dirt path we had made to get up here.

Skyline, we had stumbled upon this place when we were out way past our curfew. We were riding our bikes and got lost. Anyone else would have freaked out. But we didn't, we thought it was the coolest thing. The top of the giant hill was covered in trees, covering just one half of the hill. This was where we usually stayed. In the back we had a thirty degree slope that went through more trees, into a drop and onto Studebaker Road. This hilltop was the center point of everything we needed.

We knew we had to stay, it was incredibly dangerous, but it was too cool. We were up high, maybe a hundred. That was the guess between the four of us. The view was breathtaking. You had the ocean, you could see the boardwalk and the homes. You could even see San Diego if you squinted your eyes.

But at night, the whole city would glow. Summer's were the best, the moon would reflect over the ocean on clear nights. it didn't take long for us to call it our home away from home. We went as far as camping here. Up here, we were safe.

It was our fortress of solitude, our Batcave, our STAR labs.

"You're being a fucking idiot, Thomas!"

"Zoe, come on. You're being a little hard on him." Nathan was bringing the fireworks out of his truck.

Zoe simply walked off, kicking up dirt until she got onto the grass.

"Don't worry, dude. I get it." I sighed. Walking alongside Nate.

"Yeah, Rory isn't the best role model as far as girlfriends go." He froze, turning to me with a plastered on smile. "Which will be different in your situation, duh..."

I rolled my eyes and looked out onto the town. I could never get tired of this view. I could see the town homes where I lived, the suburbs where Nate and Zoe lived, our school, the Boardwalk. The whole town and the freeways. The ocean was the most jaw dropping view. I could stay up here forever.

We set up, each of us firing off various fireworks; Roman Candles being the most used. We sat quietly with the occasional awe or laugh, the bright colors shooting across the night sky. We did this for a couple hours, getting down to nothing but sparklers.

"We're almost out." Nathan said as he lit the fuse, watching the sparks fly around as he made random patterns.

There was no sound but the wind, and a distant party that we probably weren't invited to. Nathan was rambling about nonsensical theorize on exploding teeth when I noticed that Zoe had been quiet for the last thirty minutes. Do I want to risk asking what the matter was?

"Hey, Zoe." I called, cautiously. "You okay?"

"Yep, fine." She replied sharply.

Zoe rarely talked about her feelings. She was closed off, immune to show any sort of weakness in emotion besides violence and anger. So I was happy to make it out of that without a chop to my throat.

"Oh, stop lying. Why are you lying? We know you're lying." Nathan accused whilst lighting another sparkler with the one in his hand.

Nathan James Brooks, Co-Captain of the Shoreside Swim Team, avid hardcore music appreciator; all around idiot.

"I'm warning you two, stop." Zoe glared at Nathan under the glow of the sparkler.

"Are you still pissed about Rory-"

It was one of those moments, where you could feel the mood change. Like when someone says something to create a negative area, or an awkward feeling. Like when you see your parents fight, or when someone has been caught doing something they shouldn't have been doing; and you're just forced to watch.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me." Zoe stood up, grabbing her bag. "Take me home, now."

"Wait, Zoe. Come on, we still have a box of Sparklers." I stood up and followed after her.

"No, fuck you both. You guys are being assholes."

"Well, maybe if you told us exactly what the hell is going on, then we could understand."

That moment where you see someone about to fight, no words, just stares. You're just waiting for someone to throw the first punch and to hear that sharp snap of fist to face.

"You really wanna know then?" Zoe's voice came out in a shaky wave.

I only grew more concerned, since Zoe stayed perfectly still. With every breath that she took she started to shake. Looking to the two of us, both Nathan and I could only stare back. This was a rare occasion where Zoe just looked numb. To compare, the last time I saw her like this was when her rabbit, Titan, died. We were eleven.

"Hey, Zoe... We didn't mean to-"

"Shut the fuck up, Thomas!" Zoe snapped.

Fury.

"The reason why I hate Rory Cohen... The reason I think she's a waste of space on earth, the reason I know she's going to break your heart if you even think- for- a- moment, Thomas; that you two are going to have that fairy tale ending..." She quieted, crossing her arms and looking down to the grass.

I could see her eyes start to glisten in the ill glow of the sparkler that died out; a scary symbolic gesture in itself. Now it was pitch black, and Nathan and I were too scared to move.

"In the fifth grade," She breathed. "We were in the fifth grade, we had been best friends all through Elementary." She sniffled, looking through the break in the trees above. "It was the day of her birthday party. We lived down the street from each other so I walked the couple blocks to her house, and when I got there... I knocked on the door and no one would answer."

Everything was starting to come crashing down. Nathan was standing stock still. The pressure in my head started to build. I knew this wasn't going to end well, we may have broken our Zoe.

"She let me in through the side gate, and I walked in to find everyone had arrived. Her new friends." Letting out a wet laugh. "They made fun of how I dressed, and they called me names and then, the best part..." She paused.

I had never heard Zoe like this. I could feel her hurt crawl on top of mine. My head was still being a pain and I think Nathan had passed out because I couldn't see or hear him.

"They threw water balloons, and they threw cupcakes at me." Sniffling, Zoe continued. "All Rory did was join in and call me the same names everyone else was calling me, like it was the cool thing to do. Even though I didn't do anything!" Zoe screamed, took in a shaky breath. "She was my best friend, and in one day it all changed and she fucked me up."

The small light from the flame lighting her cigarette vanished. Neither of us spoke, Zoe just kept taking a drag and exhaling deeply.

"Zoe, I'm so sorry..." I started.

"I wanna go home..." Zoe cried softy.

I heard Nathan stand up to his feet, Zoe took another drag of her cigarette.

"Zoe-" Nathan spoke softly.

"I wanna fucking go home now, Nate!" She cried again, louder in a yell as she started towards Nathan's truck, sniffling, wiping her cheeks with the sleeve of her sweater.

Nathan and I stood there for a moment, trying to get what happened firmly into our heads. I looked to him, and he turned to follow after Zoe towards the truck.

I couldn't really put everything back in order. As if a tornado had run through my head and threw everything around. It was a mess. I had heard about how bad Rory Cohen was to others, but I had never heard of anything that bad. Let alone, to someone I held so close and dear like Zoe.

Walking towards the truck, I thought about it over and over again. Zoe would never make anything up like that, so her hate for Rory was genuine; and rightfully so. It was almost seven years ago, it still would pack a punch to be traumatized in such a way. Betrayed, hurt.

Rory Cohen may be a monster, but even with all the guilt from thinking it over and whatever friendship code I was breaking; I believed in Rory, I think she could be a decent human being. Maybe she changed, maybe she felt bad about what she did. People could change, but I wasn't about to tell Zoe that. In fact, no one said anything. Zoe was so pissed off that she made Nathan drop her off first. Then the drive to my place wasn't much better, besides a quick ' _Later, man._ ' as he dropped me off.

I didn't mind being home so early. With everything that had happened, it felt like everyone needed some space from each other. Nathan just drove off, his lights disappearing as he turned down the winding hill. Feeling the weight of the day, something happened that I didn't expect to ever happen to me, catching me completely off guard.

My trash can whined at me.

I stopped to make sure I wasn't crazy, then I heard it again. Just like last time, against my better judgement, I walked towards the unknown sound and found a dog.

 _This isn't just a dog._ I thought. I could tell by it's features. His snout, his eyes, the length of his frame.

The dog or-

"Wolf?" I spoke out loud. I was confused, this was a wolf. I remembered this National Geographic magazine I had that was all about them. Their puppies are similar to the size of a growing Rottweiler.

This was a wolf, there was a wolf in Southern California, there was a wolf in my trash can!

I couldn't begin to try and make sense of this, with everything that happened so far today, this was the cherry on top. Wolf whined again, so I reached in... carefully and pulled him out, plopping him on the lawn.

 _Now what?_ I asked myself, watching Wolf watch me.

I waved bye, to the wolf pup and turned towards my house, set on walking in, locking the door, and going to bed. I turned back to the sound of my trash can getting knocked over, Wolf whining some more while he sniffed old Chinese food boxes.

"Oh, dude. Don't eat that!" Groaning, that must have been a week old.

I walked into my house, finding it empty and remembered Danny was out for the night. I grabbed a bowl and went to the fridge. I grabbed what I could; a little more decent choice of left overs, some turkey sandwich meat, and some water.

When I walked out, Wolf was still out there. He locked on to me, licking his... or hers lips.

"Here you go..." I spoke slowly.

I was outside of my house at eleven in the evening, feeding a wolf. I dropped both bowls and watched him trot over. Devouring it all. The Chinese noodles, the two pizza slices, some orange chicken, the turkey meat and lapping at the water.

I felt something compel me to reach out for Wolf, something in my head telling me it as okay, when Wolf caught on, that changed. Snarls and barks, snaps of its snout. It all seemed so familiar.

Running to my door, being chased by a black mass with teeth. At least I knew what it was now. Wolf was big, but they weren't as big as whatever attacked me before. I ran through the door quickly, slamming it shut and sliding around. I looked through the window and all I saw were the bowls. I searched the yard, walking from one window to the next, making sure Wolf was gone. Then headed back to the door, opening it with some caution.

There was nothing, Wolf had practically vanished. I saw some paw prints in the walkway when I went to retrieve the bowls. They were big, but I don't remember them being as big as the prints I saw before.

A howl off in the distance, had to be over by the pier. It was faint, barely there but I could hear it. It was eerie in the wind, it would have scared anyone else. Specially after being attacked by a wolf.

After the day I had, after all of it, all I could do was laugh. Apparently, there are wolves in Shoreside.

* * *

 **SIMPLE TALKS.**

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 **A/N:** Thanks again! Leave a review, here comes the next Chapter!


	6. Paper-face

**A/N:** Another chapter, by now I hope you're enjoy it still! Leave Reviews and add to your favorites! Tell all your friends!

* * *

The weekend went by and I didn't know if I was happier to be at school or at home. Since Friday night, when Nathan, Zoe and I went up to Skyline. A place which was supposed to be our safe haven turned into the landing for one of the biggest emotional explosion I had ever witnessed.

Zoe told Nathan and I where the genuine disdain towards Rory came from. To be honest, she had every right to hate her. It was no secret that Rory wasn't the best human being, but no teen in Shoreside was. But, Rory couldn't hurt anyone with malicious intent. She was just misunderstood, to me, at least.

That was a different story for Zoe, specifically when they were in the fifth grade. They were best friends, up until Rory's birthday party; they cornered Zoe and humiliated her. With no real rhyme or reason. That was the explosion Nathan and I witnessed Friday night on Skyline. Zoe would get upset whenever Rory was near, mentioned, or when she saw me smiling or talking to her. Whenever we brought her up, at any time. Zoe would get visibly angry. Now, it all made sense.

Nathan and I hung out for a little bit on Saturday. Neither of us could fully comprehend what had happened. We tried playing video games, tried listening to some new albums Nathan had bought. But, we always ended up back at the topic of Zoe and Rory.

"What are you going to do?" I remembered Nathan asking while we button-mashed our thumbs against our controllers.

I took a moment to respond because I hadn't thought about it completely. It crossed my mind once it happened, but not since then. I liked Rory, or there was something there. It was hard to explain, but now one of my best friends expressed genuine hurt that was caused by this girl.

I was blind. I gave Nathan a shrug with a quiet "I don't know." and continued about the game. I wasn't looking at the complete picture, and that was my own decision. Maybe I didn't want to. I just wanted to have my cake and eat it to. Be friends with Zoe, and continue to fall head over heels for Rory. I didn't think about Zoe's warnings, I didn't think about what Rory did to her, I didn't even think about the likeliness of Rory Cohen actually having feelings for me. Which were slim.

My head began to ache. The base of my neck throbbed along with it. I set down my controller and placed a hand on my wrist over my wrist. The ache began to rise and then vanished. In these situations, I would go and ask my mom, She would give me advice, she would tell me what she thought; but she wasn't here.

 _But, she's not here..._ My throat closed up.

Nathan left early that day and I spent the rest of the weekend with my headache. Danny would talk to me occasionally, we would just talk about the Ducks and hockey, maybe something about dinner but I didn't try to get his opinion about anything going on with Rory or Zoe. Still, the elephant in the room lingered awkwardly. It seemed like we were making headway towards some sort of friendship; or we were just becoming comfortable as brothers who really knew nothing about each other.

 _The howls._

I heard the howls every night since I met Wolf. This used to make me anxious, but now, I was curious. The night I met Wolf, he... or she, was stuck in my trash can. I fed them, and they tried to take my hand off. It took me a while to get it through my head. There was a wolf in my trash can. That same wolf charged me into my house. I didn't know if I was going crazy, or if I just imagined it? No, it was real. The fear was real.

It was nothing, it had to be nothing. That's what I kept telling myself when I laid down to go to sleep. But why were there wolves in Shoreside? This is no place for wolves. Wolves? Are there more?. Coyotes were spotted a couple summers ago and that's been about it. it would make no sense for wolves to be out here. They didn't live in places like Shoreside, or beach front cities in general. There should be no wolves in Shoreside.

After I recapped the weekend, bringing myself back to the present. I looked around to see everyone glaring at me. Smirking, laughing to each other; the usual. Roll call was being taken, and that's when I noticed that Zoe still hadn't shown up. This was strange. Zoe didn't care if she was late to class or not, but she never missed a day.

Roll call was finished, and I began to worry. I took my phone out from under my desk and sent a quick text to Nathan. Asking him if he had heard anything from Zoe today.

"What's up, freak."

I knew that voice, it belonged to Adam Bane.

"Fuck..." I groaned as I looked up.

Adam and I stared at each other. He, with his arrogant grin and raised eyebrows. Having more of a face I'd like to mangle than punch. I stared up at him as he continued to stand.

"Not going to pass out on us again today, are you?" He spoke with a laugh as he finally took his seat. "Going to cry too?"

"What's your problem?" I asked, somewhat surprised by the sudden confidence in my voice.

Adam feigned a look of shock. Ms. Guntner caught the two of us, putting a stop to our banter. Our projects were past around and we all went to work. I was starting to think that I the students of Shoreside were easing up on me . Since the only people that had it out for me were a couple jocks and Adam Bane with his goons. Everyone either didn't care, or would just laugh at me. Compared to last week, that was a big change. I decided to look at that as the glass half full and keep to myself, not thinking about anything else after that.

Going from Art to my next class, I checked my phone. Nathan had replied, but he hadn't heard anything from Zoe either. This started to worry me even more. I got to my locker and after the first eight times of it not budging, I remembered what April had taught me. Lift and pull.

I got all my books changed out, grabbing my homework for the next few classes. The day went on, horribly, but it went on. I was starting to think that something had happened to Zoe, that maybe she really wasn't okay. I tried texting her, calling her. But nothing. I left a voicemail and kept checking on my phone to see if she replied to any of my messages.

Nothing.

Lunch was here, and I had to go searching for Nathan. In doing so, I spotted Rory with her friends, talking to Dean Wright, an asshole football player. They were laughing, Rory was smiling. I felt the sting of jealousy. My heart sank when I watched how they interacted. Her hand on his shoulder, taking small steps to get closer. His hand gently on her hip. Intimate and adoring.

I just sat down at the closest table, staring at my food. A cup of noodles and some hot Cheetos. I looked up once more at the two of them, but they had already left. Depression brought my shoulders down, all the attention was for nothing. I wasn't a topic of discussion for her, I was a nobody.

"Hey." Nathan said as he sat down, Appearing in my line of view "Why are you sitting here?"

The tone in his voice was so calm and collected, it pissed me off.

"What the fuck?" I let out in a breath. "Nate, Zoe hasn't answered any of our messages and you're not freaking out about it."

"Oh, my god. Thomas, you need to relax." Nate placed his food tray on the table and began to eat.

"How can you be so calm?" I asked, somewhat at a loss. But I knew how I was, a pessimist at heart. A panic bomb.

"Zoe is probably still pissed, or maybe she had something to do, maybe she's actually sick and didn't want to come to school." Nathan replied shortly, going about his lunch.

There was something off about his attitude and it was obvious. Nathan didn't seem angry, the more I stared at him, the more perturbed he seemed. We just ate in silence, not talking. I kept looking up to try and see if Rory was around, then the wave of guilt hit me. Zoe had to be pissed at me, and as much as she would hate to admit it, she was also hurt. Because Rory Cohen literally scarred her for life; the same girl I was pining over, the girl that hurt my friend. **  
**

"Are you alright?" I asked to try and get my mind off my own culpable friendship decisions.

 _I feel like dirt._

"Yes." Nathan sighed.

"Alright."

When the bell rang, Nathan was quick to get out of his seat. Telling me he'd text me later, and with a sigh, he told me everything will be alright. I gave a nod, a small smile and watched him leave. Taking one more look for Rory.

There was something up with Nathan, clearly. Maybe it was the whole fight. It was strange for us to be mad at each other for twenty four hours. But now it had been three days and still, no sign of forgiveness or normalcy. Everything seemed to be falling apart. In my eyes, everything was on fire.

The headache exploded to my forehead immediately. I stood up, trying to walk it off. When I turned around out of the table, I bumped right into Rory.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" I laughed.

"It's alright, Tommy." She giggled.

I was taken away, for just a moment. My headache stopped. I didn't feel any burning, or anything else besides the weightless feeling I always seemed to get when I was around Rory. We stood there after laughing after we gained our composure.

"Off to class?" I asked, tossing my trash into the can next to the table.

"Yeah." Rory smiled. "Walk with me?"

"Sure." Of course I would.

She had Literature and Composition which was in the same building as Creative Writing, just on the other side. We took the long way over and talked about our weekend, her decisions on the pep rallies for Homecoming. I smiled as she made school interesting. I left out the whole Zoe thing. I didn't want to risk it, I didn't know what would happen.

Suddenly the same confidence from earlier with Adam ignited and I took a chance. I had so much riding against me personally. My own mentality weighing me down, heavy against me to not do what I was about to do. But, I never listen.

"Hey, what are you doing after school?" I asked nervously.

"Today?" She asked, holding her books to her chest as we walked into the two hundred building.

I felt my heart in my throat. Her expression varied and it was impossible to gauge what it was. She must have been taking forever, or time had stopped. I was going to scream from anxiety.

"I have plans." She replied finally. Her eyes looking up at me. Her voice was reluctant.

She gave me a look that spoke volumes. It was a look you would give to someone who was just told they had three days to live. Shy and careful. Sympathetic and apologetic. It shot through my chest and that all that weight I carried became heavier.

 _What did you expect, Thomas?_

"Oh." A quiet voice escaped my lips. "Oh, that's cool. I was just-" I fumbled, trying to recover. "I was just asking to see if you wanted to hang out?" Smiling, keeping up with the act. "I wanted to take you to Mint, we can go and I can show you some actual music." I joked.

Rory smiled, rolling her eyes. She looked back to me, the same look as before on her face. Her smiled softened and we stopped outside her class.

"Soon." She replied. "I want to hang out with you, Thomas Wake." Her smile brought me back slowly, I was hopeful again. "Tomorrow?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, Awesome." I screamed internally. "Yeah, sounds cool!" I could have thought of something cooler to say besides that. I cringed at how I could feel my own cheeks heat in embarrassment. _  
_

"I can't wait!" She smiled with a bite of her lip. She leaped into my arms carefully. "It's a date." She whispered against my ear.

She held me tight, we lingered here and I basked in the moment. Her perfume, the way she fit in my arms. She pulled away slowly, looking up at me. Her forest green eyes searching my own boring brown pair.

"You haven't called me yet." Rory mentioned. "Bad Thomas."

We both laughed, she reached out and gave my hand a squeeze before we said bye, Rory heading into her class. I stood there in shock, trying to get any form of order to what was happening. I was moving miles a minute and I needed to take a break. But, I never listen.

The bell rang, and I raced upstairs to Creative Writing and burst in, heading straight for my desk. Mrs. Roe had us pass up our What Means The World To You projects. Everything was going smoothly. Till we had to proof read each others papers. The papers were passed out again, this time at random. Feeling my heart in my throat, I took out my red pen, trying to keep on the wave of Rory and I going on a date.

 _She called it a date!_

"Are you alright?" Mrs. Roe asked in a more curious tone.

"Yeah, totally." I smiled. Taking the paper she placed on my desk.

Mrs. Roe continued to pass around papers, giving me a gentle tap on my shoulder. I quickly got to work on the paper in front of me. Taking a deep breath before an attack could take hold.

I had Grace Tanner's paper. She was a good writer, I had her last year for AP English Language and Composition. Her work was always on point; and so far, she really didn't give a shit about me trying to kill myself. So, she was cool with me. I got ready to edit, and started reading.

She had a big scare for a six year old. A brain tumor had appeared in an x-ray when her parents took her in for headaches and a bloody nose; it scared her. To be that young and to be so vulnerable. to hear about such a death sentence for the first time. Trying to imagine how to process all of that when you're only six was a hard thought. She talked about how scared her parents were as well, and how that made her even more terrified than having a brain tumor. As a child, your parents are immortal. Your father will protect you from the monsters under your bed. He is the image of bravery. A mother is God in the eyes of a child a quote that has been spoken in different variations, but still is hauntingly true. She is your protector and savior, warmth and salvation; your safe harbor.

My fingers tightened on the red pen I held in my hand. I fought the urge to stand and run. Breathing was only slightly impossible. I cleared my throat and went back to it. Focusing on the scribble on the paper rather than the headache creeping on.

I continued reading, finding everything about Grace's paper to pack a punch behind each word. When you're that little, and you look to your parents for any sign of help or direction, only to find them completely lost and just as terrified as you are. Your world gets turned upside down. Grace explained just that. How when she needed help, her parents were unable to. When the situation was looking bleak, when all hope seemed to be lost. Grace found faith again in the most unlikely of places; her German Sheppard, Rocky.

Rocky showed up when the world seemed to turn away for a young Grace. She felt safe with her canine. He slept by her side every night, followed her around. When she was sick, he was right there with her. He never seemed to leave her, no matter what. It got to the point where during every hospital trip, or doctor visit. Rocky walked on in, as he was a big part of her family.

Miracle is a word that I don't believe in. Luck is more like it. But after a few months, they noticed a change in her health. The brain tumor was operable and they took the chance. Grace was now tumor free, and was at the top of the world again. Her writing was expressive enough to make me feel like I was apart of it all. Like I was there during the whole thing. Feeling everything she felt. The fear, the worry, the hope, the relief. A roller coaster that had you rattled with emotion.

After her third month check up, they came home feeling good. Grace was making a speedy recovery and all signs were pointing to a tumor free life. They noticed their side gate slightly ajar when they pulled into their driveway. At first Grace didn't think anything of it, she assumed nothing was wrong. When she went into the house, the missing sounds of Rocky running up to greet the family gave her an awful feeling. She brought her worries to her father who then went and searched the backyard. They all went around the house, searching for their missing family member. They searched for an hour straight. Checking closets, and every room three times. After a while of panic, Grace began to cry.

Rocky had run away. Her father apologized repeatedly when six year old Grace Tanner went into hysterics. She cried for her adoring Rocky, only to cry harder against her father's shoulder. While trying to comfort her. He went on to explain that he must have not closed the gate all the way. Rocky, being the curious dog Grace recounted him as, must have slipped through the small opening.

Grace goes on to thank Rocky, for his undying friendship and the help she needed in the worst time of her life, and being her world when everything seemed so dark and scary. I actually started to tear up. My thoughts going to Wolf.

"Wow, you're a fucking pussy." The voice was in a muffled laugh.

That voice again, that face again. I stared at Adam as he leaned over his desk from my left towards me. He leaned in close, the irritating smile planted on his face. He kept staring, as if waiting for a response. Out of everyone in class, the odds being the way they were. Adam had to get my paper. He was trying to get a rise out of me, as he always did. While staring back at him, I felt that confidence rise up again. Heat rose up the back of my shoulders and up my neck.

"What the fuck do you want, Adam?" I spat.

"What's with the attitude?. It's just creative criticism." Adam let out a small laugh, inching closer. His eyes were still on mine, but the smile faded into a flat line. "I mean, I just wanted t know. Did you suck your mom's tit till the day she died or did she raise you like the girl she wished she had instead of you?"

I felt my body move without me thinking, I stood straight up and knocked my chair over. I startled the classmates around me and it caught the attention of Mrs. Roe. I was toe to toe with Adam, as he had moved his desk to get to me. I had to look up to him, he towered over me. I was so blinded with anger that I didn't give a shit. I wanted to hurt him for speaking that way about my mother. I didn't want to, I needed to hurt him. His eyes narrowed, his smile returned and he puffed up his chest in an effort to intimidate me.

"Alright, that's enough." Mrs. Roe walked up to us. "That's enough!" She raised her voice when we inched closer.

Mrs. Roe parted us, sending me outside and making Adam sit back down in his chair. While I was outside, I attacked the closes locker to me. One good punch, a scream. The frustration was building and I was becoming more angry with every passing second.

"Hey." Mrs. Roe closed the door behind her. "What happened?"

She must have heard me punch the locker, I made a decent sized dent. But she ignored it, leaning against the lockers next to me. She waited patiently for me to speak. I didn't want to say anything, at the risk of cursing or screaming again. I waited.

The memories of a clear day came to the forefront of my mind. Lively and vivid. I was watching myself run along and hopping up onto a carousel. My mother lifting me up and placing me onto one of its painted horses. Her voice rang as if it was singing into my ear now.

 _You are my sunshine..._

"Thomas?" Mrs. Roe called quietly. A hand softly on my shoulder.

I was crying. I wiped the tears off my cheek whilst moving away from Mrs. Roe. I cleared my throat, looking at the regal red glisten of the locker.

"I'm sorry." I managed, calming down as I brought my self back to reality. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Roe. I didn't mean to make a scene." Sniffling, wiping tears from my cheek.

"You're okay." She reassured me. She gave me a small smile. "I wanted to make sure you were okay, you looked angry in there." She folded her arms, facing me. "I didn't want you to do something you would regret." Letting out a breath.

I managed a laugh, running a hand through my hair, my wrist pulsing in rhythm with my heartbeat, in pain. I wouldn't have regretted anything, I would have taken the punishment. I filled my lungs with air, letting it out slowly. I was never one to turn to violence, even with a reason so hurtful or demeaning.

"Are you going to be able to hang in there for the rest of class?" Mrs. Roe asked.

"I want to say yes, but..." I sighed. "I just need a minute or ten."

Mrs. Roe sighed and told me to stay put for a moment . She escaped into the classroom and came back soon after with a couple pieces of papers and my bag. Adam right behind her.

"I'm going to call Principle Ross, and if you're not there-"

"Yeah, yeah." Adam said disparagingly. He looked at me. No smile, and his eyes dark and narrowed. "Later, Wake." Pushing the doors, turning towards the main office building.

My fists tightened, I could hear the spite in his voice. My fists snapped opened when the pain came. I sighed, trying to keep my head on straight.

 _My only sunshine..._

"I'll have your paper ready tomorrow, the final paper is do next week." She informed me. "But, I want you to get a head start on your year project."

She handed me a piece of paper. On the front was the prompt. I stared at it confused, looking to Mrs. Roe for her to explain.

"Life?" I asked. "You want us to write about life? Like our life personally?"

"Sure, you can do that." Smiling. "That's your prompt, you can write it however you wish. But it has to be about life, in any aspect."

Mrs. Roe's expression was caring. Motherly and supportive. It threw me through a loop and I just stared at the paper, waiting for it to tell me their secrets. But, nothing.

 _Because pieces of paper can't talk..._ I rolled my eyes.

"You're a great writer, Thomas. I want to push you to be better. I just wanted to give you a head start." She handed over my bag, and I slipped it over my shoulder. "If you ever need anything, you can always come to me. Okay?" Turning back to the classroom. "Go on." She turned, waving me off. "Don't get caught, and I want to see you back here tomorrow... If anyone asks, you have Mr. Dunn for Creative Writing this period." With a quick smile, she slipped back into the classroom and let me go for the day.

I nodded in agreement as Mrs. Roe went back into class. I stood in the hall for a minute or two, trying to wrap my head around this. Every teacher knew about my situation, and they all tried to be supportive, at least more so than the students. Sometimes it seemed like Mrs. Roe understood it more than anyone else in school. I didn't have to say anything either. She was now my favorite teacher.

* * *

I felt like I was going to get caught, playing hooky. I pulled the hood of my jacket over, then dropped it back down. It would only bring me more attention. Nathan had come and gotten me this morning for school. I would be a little more than happy to avoid a silent car ride, so I decided to walk home. It would be about a thirty minute walk or so. But, I didn't mind.

Once I was off school property, I felt a little less like a fugitive and more so like a traveler. I took this as an opportunity to rediscover my city. I decided I was going to take the long way to the house, maybe find some clarity along the way.

The city of Shoreside was a living organism. All sorts of people mixed into a pot with different objectives and goals for their day. The business type, messengers on their bikes. Local stores and restaurants open, and the voice chatter from the pedestrian traffic giving me peace.

I couldn't help but smile. The scents of the city had everything from the taco shop, cars, the ocean riding the breeze in from the beach. The hoots and hollers from the people around me. My city was alive.

I grabbed a quick bite from said taco shop, Albert's. A couple steak tacos and a Horchata. I stopped by Bixby Veteran Park and ate, people watching. For the moment, I was enjoying myself. I wasn't thinking about anything. No issues, just the park, the small business part of Shoreside; and my Horchata.

I felt like seeing the sunset, so I went to Skyline to watch the sun drop behind the ocean. I got rid of my trash, and heading towards the hilltop. It was a farther walk, but it would be worth it. It would be another twenty minutes, but I had all the time in the world.

I stopped a couple of times to watch some street performers, argued with a homeless man about the importance of John Stamos, and walked alongside a cat who ended up disappearing into an alley. Eventually, I found the familiar steep hill and started my trek. It didn't take long before I realized how out of shape I was.

Getting to the top, on the trail to our location, the location of the Horsemen. Laughing at that thought, I set my hoodie and bag down. Plopping onto the grass and watched the sun as it was about to start its drop into the ocean.

 _I miss you, mom..._

The torment began with my breathing becoming rapid in succession. The wind gently blew through the tree, the tall grass while I felt myself fall into complete darkness. I let the dark bury me. The pain I had been building for weeks burst through. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

I cried, I brought my knees to my chest and cried. I didn't care if anyone could hear me. I couldn't handle it anymore.

I missed my mom.

I clenched every muscle, feeling the pain rush through my wrists. Wailing against the wind. My hands gripping my shins as I screamed. Releasing the pressure from my chest, outward towards town. This went on for a couple minutes, maybe five. I couldn't tell exactly how long I was crying but, I felt better when I noticed the sun dipping itself into the ocean.

"What am I going to do?" I asked in a wet voice. Asking myself rhetorically.

At times of trouble, some seek religion. My religious beliefs have always been unsettled and inconsistent. Danny was baptized catholic and I was dragged to Christian churches till I was fourteen. My mom would hint at me to try and "find" God, every time I came to her with a specific matter. As if he was outside, hiding in a tree or behind a car. To some, it seemed like I was always surrounded by God, or faith, or whatever you want to call it. I was never convinced.

I was losing it, I was slipping off the metaphorical cliff, sliding deeper into the dark depths of the hole I dug for myself. If I talk to God, would he relay the message to my mom? If I really try, will he listen? Everyone will tell you he will. All the religious fanatics will tell you the same thing to get you to join their Jesus fandom.

Confidence was something I lacked when it came to speaking to a higher power that I was still uncertain of, but a part of me wanted to believe. I was so scared, I was desperate. I was skeptical, but I had nothing to lose.

"God..." I called, feeling the burn in my cheeks from the embarrassment. "Please, I need help." The wind continued, the sun was still setting. Nothing seemed to change. "I need your help, I miss my mom. I'm scared of what might happen and I don't know what to do. Where do I go? ... How do I do this?"

I looked across the sky, seeing colors of orange and white were spread across the darkening blue canvas. I felt the cold breeze against my cheek as I waited. waited, and waited. Until I felt cheated, like I had fallen for a scam. I pulled on my hoodie and grabbed my bag as I got to my feet with a quick pat down to get the leafs and grass off of me. I was furious. Mostly because I went out on a whim only to embarrass myself.

When I turned to leave, I saw Wolf. He was standing about three feet away from me. He was behind me, and I didn't know how long he had been there, but needless to say. He scared the hell out of me.

"SHIT!" I barked and jumped back, falling to my knees.

Wolf was startled as it hopped up to his feet and took a step back. He grew quiet, we just stared at each other. One seeming to wait for the other to move, or say something. When wolf sat back down, he let out a whimper. I just stared, he yelped again. I didn't know if he was in pain, but the look in his eyes was alarming. Wolf was trying to communicate with me.

 _I'm losing it... I'm going insane._ I thought.

"What?" I was taken aback when Wolf yelped again and stood to his feet. Tail wagging as he started down the trail. "Where are you going?" Again, Wolf yelped as he turned back to me.

Wolf started to trot down the trail as I began to follow him. When I stopped, he yelped again. It became urgent when he charged at me to get my attention. I saw what I could only explain as worry on his face. I was also trying to gauge what a wolf was trying to say to me, so that concept alone was making me question my sanity.

Regardless, I followed him. We walked down the trail and I became a little nervous when we veered off, heading down the hill going west. This was uncharted terrain, so bushes and uneven dirt patches were everywhere. Wolf got around them easily, but I on the other hand nearly broke my ankle trying to get over a downed tree.

Somewhere towards the middle of the hill is when I heard the whimper. Quiet sobs getting louder as Wolf and I continued. He whined, eager to try and find the source as I soon became curious.

Wolf stopped and let out a couple barks, then waited. He looked off towards the sun, his eyes squinting. He looked regal. He barked again three times as I just stared at him. I was busy worried about my mental health and where I was exactly. Then the small voice cracked in a barely audible voice.

"Who's there?"

Wolf then took off, leaving the responsibility of a reply to me. I stared at him accusingly as he disappeared back into the trees. The voiced called out again, and I was frozen in place. The voice belonged to a girl, she sounded so fragile. It sounded familiar.

"Who is it? Please, I don't have the time for this." She shot back with attitude.

It was Rory. I took bigger strides towards the sound of her voice. I walked around some tall bushes and came to a dead stop. It was Rory...

 _Oh my God..._

My knees grew weak and air escaped my lungs when I took in the sight. I didn't know what to say, my brain was unresponsive as I stood in front of Rory, she was looking away from me. I watched her shiver, her hand going to button the top of her jeans with a waver, insecure as she continued to avoid my gaze.

The left strap of her top was off her shoulder, she was covered in leafs and there were marks along her neck, hand-shaped bruises on her arms. She began to cry again while she tried to make herself look presentable. Pulling her strap back over her shoulder, fixing her jeans and taking a few leafs from her hair.

"Hi, Thomas..." She sobbed quietly.

 _What the fuck do I do?_

There have been some situations where in the face of pressure or fear, I would be able to speak and gain control. One example would be when Nathan got hit by a car in a hit and run, I managed to get the last four digits of the driver's license plate and the make and model. But this, this was not that. I felt myself moving, I had to do something. So I dropped to my knees in front of Rory. My fingers in the dirt and dead grass.

"Rory, what happened?" Speaking quietly, afraid of the answer.

Rory scoffed, looking away. That's when I saw how red her eyes were. Appearing as if she had been crying for a while. Her cheeks were wet from tears streaking down all the way to her chin. Her breathing would shake every time she filled her lungs. She still wouldn't look at me, wincing as more tears fell.

"Rory, who did this?" I pressed.

"It..." She stopped, finally looking to me. "It doesn't matter. Thomas, please... I-" Sniffling, wiping her cheek. "You don't want to know."

Offended, I sat next to her. She scooted away slightly, so I kept my distance. But I never kept my eyes off of her. Admittedly, I was angry. I was scared for Rory. I wanted to know who did this, but the sting of jealously showed it's face, and I felt guilty for it.

I shook my head, reaching to place my hand onto Rory's. She pulled away, quickly. She gave me a glance, appearing apologetic, folding her hands in her lap.

"Rory, I'm sorry, but that's a bullshit answer... Who was it? Did they hurt you?" I knew what it looked like, all of this. "Did they- She cut me off before I could continue.

"Just, stop! No, I wanted this. I just..." Taking in a deep breath, she placed her palm to her forehead. "I always fall for it... I don't fucking know why I'm so surprised when I end up here!" Silence took over for a moment, my heart beating against my chest whilst I waited. "I thought he liked me." She gave a pained smile, sniffling.

Realization hit me when I noticed what she meant by me not wanting to know. Of course, I was an open book. I was that obvious to everyone around me. Why would I be surprised that Rory Cohen knew I liked her. I stayed quiet. For the first time since the movie at Sutton Theater, I felt my wrists burn right next to Rory. I winced, the knot in my throat growing.

"Thomas..." She called in a quiet voice. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt you-" Her voice cracked as she apologized, her hands flinched towards me. They folded back up onto her lap.

"It's fine." I turned to Rory. "It just pisses me off that... That someone would do this to you. Just sweet talk you, and use you." I wasn't thinking, just speaking. "You don't deserve that." I became quiet. This was the strangest situation. Varying emotions.

She kept her eyes on mine, she had stopped crying for the moment. But, I could still hear her voice break when she spoke.

"Why do you say that?" She sniffled again. "I'm a bad person... You really don't know me, Thomas Wake."

"I do... I mean, I don't know the Rory Cohen that walks the halls and flashes a smile to everyone. The homecoming queen, or Cheer captain. But, I know what it feels like to be portrayed as something you're not. To be the point of all the jokes and rumors. To have the same faces that smiled and said 'hi' to you turn around and trash talk about you." I focused on my breathing, Rory was looking at me with a stare I hadn't seen before. My throat felt like it was closing up from nervousness and anxiety as I kept trying to swallow down that knot. "No one knows you the way I do."

We stared at each other, her eyes starting to water and mine glistening slightly. I couldn't believe I was actually saying this. I wasn't sure if this was the appropriate moment for me to spill all my thoughts. She deserved to hear something nice, something real.

"Yeah?" She asked with a slight smile. Wiping the last of her tears away.

I took a moment, taking the sight in. The look she gave me was vulnerable. I had never seen her vulnerable, bare or hurt. My heart beat in my throat, making it hard to speak.

"One broken piece can tell another broken piece from a mile away." I whispered to her.

What happened next was something I never expected to happen. She wrapped her arms around me. I felt a quiet sob against my neck as she nestled close to me. I held her back, closing my eyes and tried my best to hold her together. She inched closer to me, wrapping her arms around me completely as we tried to hold each tighter than the other. Afraid we'd both fall apart if we let go.

"I'm sorry these guys are such assholes." We both managed a small laugh. When she looked up at me, I smiled. "I'm not afraid of you, Rory Cohen. You're not what they think you are, you're stronger. You're better." Rory dove her face back into the crook of my neck, holding me tighter as I had to yield to our hugging match.

"Where did you come from, Thomas?" She spoke with a wet laugh. After a moment, she gave one more squeeze before leaning back. "Thank you..." She whispered. Her eyes never leaving mine.

We sat there and enjoyed the sunset. She didn't feel loads better, but I could tell there was a difference compared to before. I was happy I found her, I was happy to be able to tell her how I felt. Happy to make her smile. If it wasn't for Wolf, I wouldn't have found her.

 _Holy shit, did I just completely forget about that?!_

My eyes widened, my eyebrows furrowed. What the hell was going on? Wolf literally lead me to Rory. He found me and brought me to her. How? This Wolf, the last week has been making me question everything. From sanity to existence.

"Are you okay?" Rory asked, the hurt in her voice was replaced my concern.

"Yeah." I laughed, shaking off the haunting feeling of Wolf. Because, he had to be a ghost. that was the only explanation. "Yeah, I'm just worried about getting home."

"I'll drop you off, dummy." Rory laughed, getting to her feet and assisting me. With a small pause, she wrapped her arms around me again. Letting out a slow breath as I did the same. "Thank you, again..." She looked up at me, resting her chin on my chest. I looked into her green eyes and felt my wrist cool. The pressure in my head loosen. "You're something else, Thomas Wake." Smiling.

"I know." I laughed. "Once I figure out what exactly, I'll let you know." I shrugged, she slipped her hand into mine and I almost collapsed.

"Good, because I'm on to you, Thomas." Rory laughed as she lead me down the hill. "You're not all bad, either." Shooting me another smile as she looked back.

She wasn't parked too far from where we were, the sun was completely down. Which gave an unsettling feeling to the dark trees around us. I got in, and Rory put my address into the GPS on her phone. We were off and driving, she started talking about class. The first football game of the year was this Friday and she was head of cheer, so I got to hear all about that. I didn't mind. Turns out, the life of a cheer captain was a stressful one.

I felt my blood go cold when I looked out the window. We were turning around the last bend towards the city from the hill. Wolf was out, just past the tree line, looking at me as we drove past. I heard the howl. I could feel the overbearing sense of fear crawl under my skin. Rory's hand was in mine immediately after we past him. I slowly looked over to her.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked, genuine concern in her voice.

"Yeah..." I smiled, the truth being that I was okay for the most part. "I'm actually better than I was earlier today."

We both smiled, laughing as she gave my hand a squeeze before letting go. Rory continued to talk on our drive, and I continued to listen and give advice. It was natural. We joked, we laughed. She screamed in laughter when I started to recite Genie In a Bottle in its entirety.

When we pulled up my house, I turned to Rory. There was the shy smile exchange, along with the speaking over each other, and then waiting for the other to start speaking.

"Thank you for the ride." I offered a smile. Rory reached over to hug me again.

"Thank you for saving me." She whispered, which made my arms hold her tighter.

"Always." I replied. I got out of the car and she stopped me by taking my hand one more time. I didn't mind.

"We're still on for tomorrow, right?" She asked. I had completely forgotten about that.

"Yeah, of course." I laughed. "You thought you could get out of me showing you real music? Rory, come on now. You're stuck with me."

"Oh, no." She laughed. Her smile, her eyes. Everything glowing. Making me feel warm.

"Tomorrow!" I smiled before closing the door. "I'll call you!" I yelled as I walked up the walkway.

"You better!" She drove off, down the winding hill, and she was gone.

I stood on my lawn, completely at a loss for words. I felt unstoppable for the first time in months. I couldn't stop smiling, none of this felt real. Rory Cohen held my hand, held me! The ability to leave everything for a moment was great, to be able to feel happiness and affection. To have the girl of my dreams actually notice me. It blasted me up to cloud nine.

My text tone went off, and I checked it. Zoe messaged me. Then I was brought back down to earth, brought back to reality. There was that whole situation, and I don't think I made it any better.

 _'Mom had a dentist appointment, so I drove and took care of her all day. I'm not fucking dead, you idiot. I'll see you in class tomorrow._ '

Was this a good text? It wasn't threatening. She didn't mention me getting my innards ripped out; and it was always a good day when that didn't happened. There was too much going on, I needed to sort all of this out. But, I just stood for a minute more. Letting what took place replay over and over in my mind. I continued to smile and refused to let go of this good feeling.

Wolf creeped back into my mind. What was his deal? He got me to follow him, and he brought me to Rory after... After whoever hurt her.

Was that God? Was Wolf God? Was that some sort of divine intervention? The more I thought about it, the less I wanted to know.

I got into the house and went straight to my room. Danny's Jeep wasn't in the drive way, so I was alone. I laid on my bed with the ill light from the desk lamp illuminating the walls. I looked out my window to see the moon up high, wondering when the howls would start up tonight.

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 **PAPERFACE.**

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 **A/N:** Reviews! Add to Favorites! Keep it real, fam.


	7. Tiny Voices

**A/N:** So this will be the last chapter uploaded for a minute, I hope you guys enjoy it. Again, leave a review, add to your favorites. Spread the word about _Wolf Like Me._ Please, and thank you.

Enjoy!

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I woke up feeling refreshed, I felt new. I woke up early enough to take my time. I took a long shower, got ready at my own pace. Then, I went downstairs and actually made breakfast. I didn't go to bed any earlier than I usually do. But, for some reason, four hours of sleep had me feeling great.

It used to be so much easier. Before all of this, before life took a shit on me, for lack of a better phrase. Danny and I were different when we were young. Breakfast was set up and on the table by the time we were finished getting ready for our day. Now, we barely have enough time to see each other, let alone grab a Pop-Tart or a piece of fruit.

The low rumble of Nathan's truck pulled into the driveway. I ran outside and went for the truck, finding Zoe in the passenger seat. I was surprised, caught off guard, so I just stared at them both for a moment. I wasn't expecting to see Zoe. I could only guess that things were okay. She seemed fine, and Nathan looked a lot less frustrated than he did yesterday. I opened my mouth to apologize to Zoe, but she snapped it back shut with a look.

"I'm going to punch you-" Zoe spoke smoothly as soon as I made a sound.

I quickly tossed my bag into the bed of the truck and hopped in. Giving a tap to the side, like I usually did to let Nathan know I was ready. Everything seemed normal. I wasn't going to hold my breath though, even with last night still in my head, I couldn't be too sure. **  
**

School seemed to be becoming less and less of an issue. Everyone's antics behind my back just started to become background noise to my day. As far as the three of us, it seemed like we were back on the same page. Zoe wouldn't laugh as much, but she would at least smile. She wasn't trying to kill Nathan or myself. Both of us learning to take what we could get.

"What are you doing after school today, Tommy?" Zoe asked while we all walked to class.

"Nothing I can think of." I said in more of a question to myself.

"Just gonna leave me out of it?" Nathan asked.

"Don't be a baby." Zoe shot a glare to Nathan. "Let's get some Wienerside." Zoe suggested.

We all agreed to the event. It had been a while since my last chili dog, and I was do for another five.

We waved by to Nathan, then walked into Ms. Guntner's class. The first thing I noticed was the absence Adam Bane. I felt less anxious, my shoulders loosening and a weight being lifted off of me. I became a bit angry, thinking how Adam had such an affect on me. I had to shake it off.

Zoe and I sat down at our desk, we were given our projects to finish. We were working on shading, so the lights were turned off and lamps were positioned along the bottles, casting shadows along the huge walls. Besides the swiping sounds of charcoal pencils to paper, muffled music from various headphones; it was quiet. I was shading in what I had sketched on my paper. I kept looking towards Zoe. It would be a bad choice to try and beat a dead horse with Zoe. Once she's gotten over something, she doesn't enjoy having to go back and deal with it again. One and done. But I felt guilty, I felt like I needed to atone for my sins.

"Hey, Zoe." I whispered. Looking over to see if Zoe had heard me. "Zoe!" I hissed in the quiet classroom.

"What?" Zoe pulled out her headphones, staring at me with the fires behind her eyes. Per usual.

"Hey, I'm sorry about last Friday." I hesitated, wincing as I waited for her to answer.

Zoe took her time, she didn't stop shading. Her earpiece hung down, the she lifted her head away from her project. I got the idea that she was thinking up a storm. I was now more scared than I was nervous.

"You make your own decisions, Thomas." Zoe shrugged. "I just wish you would have my back like I've had yours."

Her words stabbed deep into my chest like a rusted dull knife, followed by the ungodly pain of it being twisted around. I felt the betrayal slip in with the guilt I felt. A sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach from the look in her eyes. Did this make me a turncoat? Will I be able to be friends with the both of them?

"You don't see it right now. I wish you could, but Rory Cohen can destroy you." Zoe put her pencil down finally, pulling out the other ear piece and bringing her attention to me completely. "No, correction. Rory will destroy you. You're already damaged, Thomas. I don't get what you're doing-" Her voice began to rise.

"Hey, whoa. Take it easy!" I managed to mumble. "I know I'm not healthy. I know I'm not okay, trust me. It's been keeping me up at night." I finished a certain area of my work and put my pencil down, turning to Zoe. "I'm not... I'm not going to lie. I like seeing her, I like when she smiles at me and we actually talk. That's as far as I'm able to think. I know how amazing it would be if something happened between Rory and I-" Zoe's eyes widened. "But I also know that I wouldn't be ready for any of that."

Zoe opened her mouth to speak, and then stopped. The lights turned on in the classroom and we had to turn in our work. In the commotion, Zoe slipped away and took her time. Talking to Ms. Guntner about some other project.

I had trouble trying to figure out where she thought my life was her problem. I almost slapped myself after that thought, of course I knew why. Zoe seemed to know Rory, but I honestly think that that had to be a different Rory. That was fifth grade Rory. Now, there was no way that could have been her. Zoe wanted to make sure I stayed safe, that I was okay, that I was taken care of. I appreciated it. I don't think I would still be here if it wasn't for her and Nathan.

 _I would probably try to kill myself again_. That thought was terrifying.

"Hey, stop looking at me like a kicked puppy." Zoe ordered. Sitting back down. "You make your own choices, Thomas. Because you can lead the horse to water but you can't make it pee."

"I think it's drink." I corrected.

"Shut the fuck up." Zoe continued. "Look, the bottom line is; you are my brother, you are family to me. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you. Including, having to tell you how bad something is until you have to learn on your own."

My right hand moved to the inside of my wrist. Rubbing gently as the slight burn emerged. I looked to Zoe, I understood what she meant. I smiled at the mention of me as her brother. She was my sister, and I would do just about anything for her. As she would for me, as the three of us would do for each other.

"I'm not going to let your burn up, or sink further into the hole. I just wish that you would listen. But, if you don't want to... Or for some strange reason, you think I'm wrong; which is stupid. I will always be here... To say I told you so." She smiled, the small smirk brought.

"I appreciate the hell out of you, Zoe Anne Castillo." I smiled.

"Don't use my full name, it's too weird." Zoe shot back with a laugh.

Things were looking up. I'm sure it was hard for her to talk to me about anything involving Rory, or anything involving emotion and opening up for that matter. But, I think she knew we needed to have that conversation. The bell rang, and I went to my next class which was with Nathan. I told him all about Zoe and I's conversation. Which, he was upset about. Because their conversation consisted of Zoe just wailing until she felt like she needed to stop.

I kept looking around. The need to look over my shoulders was still there; Adam wasn't even in this class with me. This anger was becoming more evident.

I told Nathan about Adam; that was a bad idea. Nathan turned a dark shade of red and his knuckles turned ghostly white. I made Nathan promise me not to do anything about it, he reluctantly agreed when I told him it was my problem. A problem I planned on dealing with if it came down to it..

Nathan hated Adam as much as I did. The things he would pull on us, the issues he caused on purpose. On the swim team, which he was only on because his Dad was our coach.

Time was moving fast, and I was still feeling pretty good. The bell rang, and Nathan and I got up to go meet Zoe for lunch. I had to stop by my locker to pick up my Creative Writing folder.

It was me versus the locker, again. The damned and cursed locker. I remembered everything April had taught me. Up, and pull.

 _Or was it pull and up?_ I wasn't certain. So I tried both, and nothing.

"Come on!" I yelled at the locker.

"Up and pull." April's voice was at my side as I stopped my efforts with a huff.

"I'm doing that." I spoke slowly, in frustration. "And still.. nothing.

"Well, you're doing it wrong." April sang.

I let go of the latch, took a step back and gestured for April to try. She got it open in one swift move and a tiny grunt. The pinging of my locker was the only sound. I grabbed my folder, and dropped off the few books I didn't need. Locking it up as I turned to April.

"Thank you." I said begrudgingly.

"Oh, don't be a such a guy about it." April patronized. "I think if you tried, three or fifteen more times, you would have gotten it!"

"Sure." I said with a roll of my eyes. Laughing as the two of us made our way to lunch.

"Are you alright?" April's sudden question surprised me.

"What?" I wasn't paying any attention. "What? Yeah." I shrugged at the question. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Just asking." She laughed. "Easy."

"Do I stick out like a sore thumb?" I gave in, I was easy to read anyway. I could lie all I wanted, but anyone could see. "I don't want to pour down all my woes onto you."

"Then what was the point of me asking?" April speaking sarcastically. Raising an eyebrow.

"Well then..." I felt embarrassed.

We both got in line for our food at the student store. I picked up some cup of noodles and a can of soda. April doing the same, but with a bottle of water. I stood, waiting to find Nathan and Zoe. I spotted them after a once over. They were at the flagpole, we would fight underclassmen over it almost every year.

"I don't know exactly how to word it." I started slowly, trying to figure out how to explain a wolf communicating to me, finding Rory the way I did. The feelings I had for her. A brother I've only become more distant with. All while I figuring out why I did what I did this past summer, and trying to find my barrings with the loss of my mother. Just like clockwork, my head throbbed and the aches started from behind my eyes. April noticed and set her food down.

"Hey." April smiled softly. "You're okay, I promise. Look, if you figure it out. Call me." She took out a piece of paper from her wallet, scribbling down her number and handing it to me. "Lord knows I hear it from Rory almost every day and night. She's always going on about this, or that... It's not easy being best friends with that girl. But, no matter what. Give me a call." April stopped, grabbing her things. "I am really sorry, I know because of this school. But, I just wanted to send you my sympathies personally."

It felt like a punch in my stomach. I needed to throw up, but there was nothing to vomit. I managed a smile and gave a nod.

"Seriously, call me if you need anything." April's tone changed, as if she noticed the change in me. More concern and worry "Even if it's about that locker." With a laugh, she waved bye.

I was now faced with the pain all over again. I realized I had been ignoring it, I had been stuffing it so far down to where I wouldn't have to see it. I filled my time with issues like Zoe, Rory, Danny, Nathan. I wasn't thinking about my mother and that made me feel even more guilty. But every time I thought about her, I felt scared that the images I saw would fade. That every time I would think about her, I would feel this specific pain. The pins and needles in my chest, not being able to breath. The thought of the end in the back of my head. It worried me to no end, so, of course I tried to smother it. Keeping it away from me, not thinking about the repercussions. I just didn't realize what I was doing.

Everyone around me was staring. I could feel the judgement in their eyes, on my skin. The knot in my throat grew bigger, it became hard to breath. I had a clear path to the flagepole. Nathan and Zoe weren't paying attention, it looked like they were arguing about something. I wanted to scream for help, but not only would that make me look like a freak, it would be impossible since my throat felt like it was swollen shut.

I practically ran across the quad, sloshing my can of soda over onto Nathan as I landed. He gave me a stare, but Zoe was the first to notice me not breathing. She was in front of me in no time, crouched down at my knees.

"What happen? Was it Adam again? I'll fuck him up!" Zoe barked.

Their eyes were still on me. I could hear tiny voices around me. Whispers and laughs. How could I think to try and ignore this? Just completely avoid the giant crater sized void in my heart, like it was nothing? I took a drink of Zoe's water, opening my throat and then breathed a couple breaths when Nathan instructed me to. Zoe stood up to bark at some Jocks passing by. Her venom making them hurry, but not without an insult.

"I'm fine.." I managed to cough out.

"Bullshit." Nathan sighed. "What happened, dude? You seemed alright earlier."

"I was stupid. I thought I could." I paused. "I thought I could just bury it deeper under all my problems. That ended up backfiring, and I didn't even notice." Zoe brought my drink to my lips and I took a sip slowly. "I'm so fucked. Ben was right, these people are like sharks."

"Fuck these people!" Zoe roared. "And you know what, fuck Ben too! That asshole wasn't even there!" Zoe turned to the crowd gathering around the cafeteria who had started spectating my breakdown. "None of you were! FUCK ALL OF YOU!"

"Zoe's right." Nathan was glaring at some others at the tree. "I get it, not wanting to worry or think about something. But, you need to-" Nathan placed a hand on my shoulder.

I was crying, and that made it worse. I inhaled in a gasp, trying to get as much air into my lungs as possible. Zoe sat down on my right, Nathan stayed quiet on my left.

"Let's go, Thomas! You just need to get through the next hour and a half." Zoe smirked, staring at me through narrowed eyes. "Wienerside..." She said with a smirk.

"Oh, there it is." Nathan laughed.

I grinned. The thought of a Wienerside chili dog with onions and cheese. My friends falling back into the routine of us both just not giving a shit, and going out and having fun. The two of them always at my flanks.

It was at this time I remembered the plan I had made the day before with Rory. The plan to go to Mint Records and hang out. My eyes closed and I felt my stomach flip. I didn't know how I was going to explain this one.

"Wait." I said. "Shit, I'm sorry. I can't." I looked to them both, looking from right to left. "I kind of... already made plans. I totally forgot about them until now."

"Who else do you have plans with?" Nathan asked, honestly curious.

"Oh my fuck." Zoe hissed. She stood up and began to pace. "I need a cigarette."

She knew; of course she did. It didn't take much to piece it all together. Poor Nathan.

"I made plans to hang out with Rory." I spoke quietly. I was walking on thin ice. I knew the sound of her name sent Zoe into rage blackouts. "I forgot, and I ran into her last night-"

"Oh really?" Nathan sounded surprised. "Nice." With a hint of impressed. "What happened?"

Zoe wailed on him, hissing curse words as she did so. Nathan held up his arms to block the blows as they rained down on him. Zoe beating up Nathan was a recurring thing. But, this time, I was grateful Zoe came in. I wouldn't be able to tell them, that wasn't my place, it wouldn't be right.

 _She was barely clothed, disheveled and shivering._ I shuttered at the memory.

"I'm sorry, I needed to get that out in a positive way." Zoe spoke calmly, smoothing out her blouse.

"On me?!" Nathan asked hysterically.

"Look, let's hang out after? I mean, I don't think we're going to be out all night." I suggested as an alternative.

"No." Zoe sighed. "Go play with your-" Zoe stopped.

"Zoe." Nathan warned.

"Go have... fun..." She finished. "Seriously, we'll hang out Friday or something."

The bell rang, and it was a sign for me. End the conversation before it gets awkward or any more tense than it already was.

"I can only lead the horse to water." Zoe glared at me, but ruffled up my hair before she grabbed her bag.

I felt threatened, I gave her a nervous smile. Nathan stood up and picked up our trash. I tossed my cup of noodles, not hungry after that episode.

"Just be careful. Call us if you need us." Zoe punched me pretty hard in the arm as she passed by me.

Nathan waved bye, they both left towards their next class. I took a moment to gather my thoughts and to screw my head back on. I know April didn't mean to bring all the pain back. It was my fault, entirely. I was ignoring it, when I should have been dealing with it. Now I had it all set out in front of me again. The emptiness, the dark. Feeling that same pull into the void, like gravity.

I was back in my room, back in Aunt Lynn's house. Staring out my window and watching the moon over suburban homes, a crisp wind coming into my room. I can remember more now than I did when I woke up in the hospital to Danny freaking out over me. I sat down on the floor, back against my bed. The door was locked, and the my iPod playing some random playlist. It was only on for ambience, I wasn't paying attention to that.

My fingers went over the wrappings on my left wrist, then my right while the memory spun around me.

I was on my floor, against my bed, music playing and a steak knife in my hand. I started to hyperventilate.

I pulled on the collar my shirt as if that would help me breath. The bell rang again, I completely lost track of time and I was now late for class. I picked up the pace and ran for the two hundred building. My heart continuing to race. I was running with my eyes shut tight. Trying to force what I could back into the depths of which they crawled out of.

I ran down the hall and up the stairs and into class. All eyes on me. Mrs. Roe had a bewildered looked on her face, then gestured to my seat. I kept my eyes on the floor, sat down, took my notebook out and kept staring at the board. I could feel their eyes again while I tried to catch my breath, I hated how easy I could just feel them on me. It made my skin crawl and my sutures burn.

Then I was taken out of my downward spiral when I realized that this left me open for an attack by Adam, but that never came. I looked around, and found that there was no Adam.

Was he sick? Did he just decide to not show up? I would hope that he would drop out, maybe start his life of crime and having a child out of wedlock with a woman who despised him. The new American tradition.

"He's not here." Mrs. Roe said coming into my line of vision, catching me searching for him. She was passing out papers and stopped at my desk. "He was let go from my class."

"Wait, what?" I was slightly upset that she would do this. The only reason being me, that had to be it. That made me feel pathetic. "Look, I know we almost tore each others heads off but-"

"It wasn't you." She reassured. "It was a decision made for the rest of the class, also, while others have found my class to not be for them. There was a bit of an exodus." Mrs. Roe stopped. "I didn't mean to upset you. I thought you would be happy to hear about him leaving."

"I mean, I'm not mad. But, I just didn't want it to come down to that. Now I feel like a coward." I started to ramble

"No." She crouched down at the side of my desk. "This wasn't you. Adam was trouble, he decided for himself that he wasn't going to listen to me, or anyone for that matter. You know I hold all of my students to a certain standard, that this class is a AP course and will be a great highlight on your College Transcripts. This, is a big honor for some people. Unfortunately, Adam decided that he wasn't going to push himself to those standards, or take this class seriously. So I had him released. His own mistakes and antics, decisions, and misjudgments cost him this class, not you. If he's not going to give everything he's got, and be a AP honors student. Then he's not going to have the perks of my teachings." She placed a blank piece of paper on my desk. She smiled. "Another project for you, to keep you on your toes."

I stared at the blank and sharp edged paper, wondering if I had the right to be mad. I couldn't blame Mrs. Roe, Adam did make his own choice. I was honestly surprised that he was even allowed in this class in the first place. I figured this was a good thing, a glass half full situation. I needed to let moments like this linger, these were the small details I needed to count on. With the episode at lunch in mind, I gave a nod in response.

Mrs. Roe started the lesson, I leaned back in my chair and watched her teach. I was able to actually breath. It felt like I wasn't waiting for a bomb to go off, or something to go wrong. I was able to be myself. I was learning, listening. It felt amazing.

"Those of you who are still awake; Mr. West." Raising her voice, Mrs. Roe brought Walter West back from the dead and continued. "You should see a blank page on your desk, right in front of you." She turned to the board, writing down ' _Challenge Week_.' She turned back and gave us her attention. "It's simple, we'll do a paper a week."

We all groaned, the slight gesture of more work had any teenager groaning in their seats. I was a bit more excited than most of the kids in my class.

"Oh, we can do book work as well." With Mrs. Roe's threat, we all silenced ourselves. "Alright then. It's not even that bad, you all are just complaining to complain. It's two pages, twelve point font, single spaced. Extra credit, and isn't mandatory-"

The classroom cheered, Mrs. Roe rolled her eyes along with a laugh. I was becoming more and more interested in what was going on. I leaned forward in my desk and waited for Mrs. Roe to continue.

"Alright, alright. But, I strongly suggest that you all participate. These are done to keep you on your toes as a writer. To keep your creative minds on a constant swivel of growth." She brought out a bucket from the side of her desk. "All of you, by the end of class need to write down either a word, or a sentence. A prompt, a question, an issue, a topic on those pieces of paper. Anything, anything you would want to see written about, or hear another opinion on. Then towards the end of class. You'll fold the papers and place them in this bucket. You'll each take one as you leave, and will bring me a finalized paper next Monday." She waited for a response from us, most of the kids had zoned out. Some seemed to be interested as they took their pens to their papers.

I stared at my paper. Wondering what to write down. It felt like I was deciding someone's fate by writing on this paper, with this pen. I felt empowered. I laughed at the thought, then stopped when Whitney Stevens was staring at me.

I didn't want to spend all my time thinking about what to put down, so I just went with the first thing that popped into my mind.

' _Trent Reznor and The Impact of Industrial Music in the Nineteen_ _Nineties_.' Someone had to teach these kids about good music.

The class went on without a hitch. Even the stares became less of a bother. I tossed in my paper as Mrs. Roe walked by with the bucket. The bell rang and I let everyone else go ahead of me. Avoiding stares.

"Are you alright?" Mrs. Roe asked once I got to her desk. "I didn't mean to upset you with transferring Adam out. I didn't mean to offend you if I did."

"It's okay." I slipped one hand under the strap of my bag. My fingers tapping along Mrs. Roe's desk. "It was actually really nice. One less thing to worry about, you know?"

"Are you alright?" Mrs. Roe asked again, taking a pause with a look of concern. "I do worry about you, Thomas. All of us do."

"Why?" My voice cracked. Was she worried about how I was doing, or what I could do? "I mean, I'm okay... I'm not going to try and kill myself again." I blurted out loudly. Making myself sink in from embarrassment, I felt my body move instantly towards the door.

"No, hang on. Thomas, I didn't mean to offend you again." Another pause, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I just want to make sure that you know you can come to me with anything, or the counselors. I may not know exactly what is going on in your world, but I have a descent idea along with a different point of view."

I started to sway a bit. No matter what, your problems will be problems. They won't go away, life will find a way to bring them back.

"I just want to make sure you know that there are people here that will listen, when it seems like no one cares. Okay?" Mrs. Roe finished, offering a small smile. "Here's your paper a World paper, sorry it took me so long. No real corrections needed, just a few simple errors you probably overlooked." Mrs. Roe got up from her desk and walked with me out the door.

"I didn't mean to be an ass." I started. "I might take you up on that offer, I just... Today I realized the extent of everything I had been pushing away and.."

"As long as you have a grip, you're fine. But if you feel like you're losing it. Come see me." Mrs. Roe smiled. "You have another paper to work on." Mrs. Roe gestured to the bucket in her hands.

I looked inside the bucket and found a good amount of pieces left. I reached in and fumbled about until I chose my prompt. I had to laugh, because of all things, all the chance in the world.

"Best day of my life." I read the topic out loud. Shaking my head at the irony. "You have anymore of these tricks up your sleeve?" I asked while I held the small piece of paper.

"I'm pushing you past your limits of creativity. Trust me, you'll thank me later." Mrs. Roe laughed along with me.

"That's if I don't go insane." I slipped the paper into the side pocket of my bag. "Alright, I can't make any guarantees. But, I will do my best." I promised. "Thanks, Mrs. Roe..."

"Get outta here, kid. Before I give you more work." Mrs. Roe smiled. Mrs. Roe started to get ready for her next class, I took my leave into the hall.

I had a feeling Mrs. Roe was trying to keep me occupied, in fear of a suicidal relapse. That's why she mentioned how worried everyone is. After thinking about it, I couldn't blame them. I had trouble with trying to figure out where I was, or who I was. I hadn't sat down with myself, or at least sat down to think about it. Why I did it, or would I do it again? The fear of not knowing the answer made it all worse.

I walked across the quad, and then across the auditorium, heading towards the staircase for the parking lot to wait for Nathan. Suddenly, a pair of small hands that were barely able to cover my eyes came in. The familiar perfume and the quiet giggle gave her away immediately.

"Guess who." She spoke sweetly.

"Um." I laughed, playing along. "You're not Nathan." I turned and was met with petite arms that wrapped around my waist. My own arms wrapped around her instinctively. "Hey, Rory."

"Hi, Tommy." She spoke against my chest. "Wow, you smell really good."

I was melting, mumbling, fumbling.

"Well, I try to bathe as much as I can." Laughing at my own joke. This was the best example of _No, don't do that, Thomas. That's embarrassing._

"That's good, it's hard to find that in guys nowadays. You're a catch." She smiled, biting her bottom lip and giving me a wink.

 _I'm dead. I died. At some point from Mrs. Roe's class to here, I died._

"Hey, so... I'm sorry, but I don't think I can make it today." Rory spoke quietly, she bit her lip again, but not like she had before.

I gave Rory a stare from my quizzical llama collection, realizing that she had meant Mint Records.

"Oh..." The air came out of my lungs, my voice sounding flat. All fun was sucked out of me, I was bummed. Rory noticed.

"I'm sorry..." She took my hand in hers, and I tried not to squeal. "I forgot about something I planned with April and I didn't want to bail on her. But!"

I was busy figuring out how I was going to explain to Rory why I wasn't breathing when her change in tone stopped everything. I looked to her as she smiled.

"But, I want to plan another day. I want to hang out with you, Thomas Wake. I just can't today, and I'm sorry." Rory gave my hand a squeeze.

Rory Cohen, she was holding my hand when just last week we were practically strangers. She noticed me more in the last week than she had in the six years of us knowing each other. There was still this shy barrier between the two of us. It was nerve racking, but she was beautiful.

"It's fine. We can do this any other time." I smiled. Smiling was the only thing I knew how to do right.

"I promise." Rory smiled. Another squeeze to my hand, and she was on her way to the parking lot. "I'll call you tonight!" Her voice sang from the bottom of the steps, blowing me a kiss.

I quit, I gave up. I felt my knees go weak as I started to fall back. Being caught by Nathan surprisingly.

"What happened?" Nathan asked, completely confused.

"Just hold me." I said while I replayed the show of affections in my head

"... Right." Nathan said worriedly. **  
**

With the recent event change, and some convincing to Zoe since she was trying to be bitter. We made our way to Wienerside. I was as happy as I could ever be. There was nothing better than food, let alone chili dogs. We decided to bring it back to my house, I even went ahead and bought Danny his inferior cheeseburger. Danny came home to us on the back patio.

"Weirdos." Danny greeted. Cracking open a beer can once he got to us.

"Hey, I got you a burger." I spoke with a mouthful of glorious chili dog.

"Oh, thank you!" Danny grabbed the burger with a bow. Taking a massive bite. "How was school?"

"The only good cheerleader is a dead cheerleader." Zoe said deadpan.

"Well, that's an opinion." Danny said without skipping a beat. "How about you guys?" Asking Nathan and myself.

"It was school." I spoke, going on to chili dog number three.

"Thomas almost fainted." Nathan added in between sips of his Coke.

"Thanks for bringing that up, Nate." I sighed. I could have gone without being reminded of that.

"You're welcome, it was adorable." Nathan laughed.

Nathan continued to explain what had happened, from his point of view. He didn't leave out any detail. Specially with Rory blowing me a kiss. Nathan was proud, saying he thought something epic was going to happen. Danny was proud, but very confused. During the argument Zoe and I had, Danny and Nathan both had a cigarette.

I watched Zoe pull one up as well, and I grabbed her pack.

"Do you want to keep that hand?" She asked as she exhaled.

"Can I have one?" I asked, Zoe laughed.

"Are you sure?" She asked. Looking to Danny who just shrugged. "Alright."

I took a cigarette. examining the stick, and giving it a sniff. There was a certain smell to it, almost like wood burn or the bark from a tree. I found it luring.

"Let me see your lighter." I asked Zoe, she slid it over to me. Her eyes staring wide.

"Are you really doing this?" Nathan asked, taking out his phone and held it out towards me. "You're really doing this."

I gave Nathan a stare, rolled my eyes and let the cigarette rest between my lips. I didn't see any harm in my wanting to try it, and now here I was about to light a cigarette. Maybe it's like it is in the movies. Zoe and Nathan have both said they're good stress reliever. So I lit the stick and took in a drag.

Coughing, laughing, more coughing. With each heave, the crunching sound in my chest got louder. It burned my throat and left a disgusting taste in my mouth. I continued to cough, it appeared that that was all I could do. Zoe, Nate, and Danny all kept laughing.

 _Well, this backfired._ I thought to myself. My eyes watering as I began to laugh.

"Whoa." Was all I could managed to say.

"Try slower next time, genius." Danny suggested.

I continued to cough as I kept trying to smoke the cigarette. Then Zoe made me put it out and slapped me across the head. When we finished eating, Nathan suggested going to see the new monster flick at the Sutton Theater. Zoe wanted to see the anime movie they had playing for today only. So we decided on that rather than both of us having our Achilles tendon sliced.

We were out the door and at the boardwalk in no time. It was slow, it was a weekday. A couple people here and there, but nothing to keep me from a descent time with my friends. This was the first time we all hung out since Zoe told us about Rory. But it didn't feel like that night, and I wasn't going to let history repeat itself.

"What are we doing with snacks?" Zoe asked, looking up at the menu.

"I can get the popcorn." I offered.

"I'll get the drink." Nathan stepped forward.

"Then I'll get us some candy." Zoe turned to me, punched my arm, and then stepped up to the counter.

Surprisingly, there was a line for our movie. It wasn't long and we would only be waiting for a couple minutes. We talked about Adam, how we all just wanted to hurt him, and Zoe wanted to castrate him for good measure. They both thought it was a good thing that Mrs. Roe had him transferred him out. There were openings in her class now. With Adam getting the boot, and a couple others transferring out willingly because of the workload. I cracked a joke about the three of us being in the same class like it used to be.

I felt the familiar hands over my eyes, just like earlier today. The smell of her perfume, her soft giggle.

"Guess who." She sang.

I turned around and smiled as she leaped towards me, knowing I'd hold her tight. Which I did. I fought through the pain in my wrist, it wasn't too bad. Rory nuzzled her nose into the crook of my neck, whispering a soft "Hi." against my skin. Squirming down, staying close to check on my wrists.

"Hey..." I replied, catching her attention when I moved my hands to her side. Curiously, I looked around the theater lobby. "What are you doing here?" I asked confused. "I thought you were with April."

"Well, fun fact. That's why we're here." Rory laughed, resting her chin against my chest. Looking up into my eyes. "It's good to see you too, Thomas." Huffing, she pulled away slowly. "It's a double date I told her I'd help her with. She likes Ryan Spilner. Except, his friend, Alex Latimer was coming too."

Rory looked down towards the concession stand. I spotted April giving me the widest grin with the roundest eyes when Ryan Spilner wrapped his arm around her waist. I could see her blush from a mile away. I gave her a thumbs up as I heard the faintest of squeaks come from her tiny frame; all the way from across the lobby.

Then I saw Alex Latimer, who was looking at me like I was a meal. I stared back, then felt Rory's hand on mine. Which, of course, brought me back to reality. I turned to her and gave a frown, or an attempt at a grin. I was somewhere in between.

"Alex Latimer, he's kind of a tool." I said honestly, Rory gave me a gentle jab. "What, I'm being honest." I tried to laugh, be friendly. But Alex Latimer was an actual douchebag.

"Hey, he's not that bad once you get to know him." Rory quieted at the look on my face.

"What?" I asked. I always knew when something bad was going to happen. "So, this isn't your first date with him?" She shook her head, I laughed out of nervousness. Expecting an anvil to drop on my head, like in a Loony Toon episode.

The sensation of knowing when something bad was going to happen was my mutant power, at least that's what Nathan called it. I knew bad news before it happened. I could feel it in my bones, a sense of negativity and pessimism just seemed to be my thing. So when Rory looked away, I knew she had something she didn't want to tell me.

"Rory... Was he the guy that left you?" I asked quiet enough so the two of us could only hear, this was a long shot, but something told me it was shorter than it looked. The silenced that followed told me the answer. "Up on the hilltop yesterday, was that him?" An overbearing tone in my voice. The frustration I had all day quickly turned to anger I had all day.

I wasn't sure if I had the right to be mad. To be perfectly honest, I didn't; It still didn't change the fact that I was. I wanted to beat the shit out of Alex Latimer for hurting Rory. I felt my fists tighten, my knuckles popping under the pressure. Giving way when my wrists shot a sharp pain up a nerve through both arms. I let out a muffled whimper

"Hey!" She raised her voice slightly, placing her hands on my fists. "No, it's fine." She tried to reassure me. "We talked it out, it's not going to be like that anymore." She turned to see Alex, who was in a staring contest with me at the moment. "I think he likes me, likes me."

I was staring at Alex, I caught Nathan licking his lips at him as well. Rory grabbed my hand and brought my attention back to her. Something took over me, and I let it. The pressure was becoming unbearable, I felt like I was going to pop.

"You knew you were going on another date with him?" I asked, confused. Slightly hurt.

 _That's none of my business._ I repeated in my head.

"Sorry..." I cleared my throat, our line was going in and Zoe looked like she was holding in her favorite curse word. "That's good, I hope you two have a good night." I smiled, because that's what I do. Nate and Zoe started to make their way into the theater.

Rory stared up at me. Hurt and concern in her eyes. Different expressions varying from one to the other. "Don't be mad, please." She asked of me. "I still want to hang out with you, don't think I did this just to bail on you."

"Are you sure?" I asked Rory, "It doesn't look like it from where I'm standing." I thought it, but I didn't mean to say it.

"Wow..." She said in a laugh. "Jeez, I'm sorry. I thought you'd be okay with this-"

"You're bailing on me with the same guy that hurt you! How is that fair? He's an asshole, he's just going to feel you up and throw you away again!" My pulse in my neck. "Are... Are you really not able to see how I feel about you? I mean, shit! You see every other guy besides me!" My eyes went wide. I immediately realized what I had done. "Rory.. I'm sorry-"

"No..." Rory looked away from me, unable to use her voice without it cracking. "No, that's fine, Thomas." She was clearly upset, staring up at me, taking a step back.

"Rory, please. I'm sorry." I was scrambling. "I don't know why I said that. I didn't mean to!"

"Well, you did it." Rory wiped her eyes. Tears that were falling, because I fucked up. "You said it. You have a good night, Thomas." She turned before I could say anything.

I watched her gather with her other Preppy friends. April staring at me confused, Alex kept his glare menacing. His smirk made my blood boil.

"Hey." Zoe's voice came in like a radio frequency coming into my head. Which would explain all the headache. "I don't want to say I told you so-"

"Then don't." I snapped. Handing Nathan the Popcorn, and leaving the theater. I caught Rory eyes on me as I made my exit.

I ignored Nate and Zoe's calls as I turned down onto the Boardwalk. I heard the crashing waves and could smell the faint hint of fall in the breeze. I walked down the steps, past the parking level and further down under the dock. Luckily, I was alone. I mean, I was alone, as in no one else was there with me. But the pain came in, and I screamed.

The sutures in my wrists burned. It felt like they were splitting at the seams. My headache throbbed on and on. Feeling like someone pulled the cord on an inflatable raft inside my head, with no where for it to go, just pressure building. The worst part was that it wasn't just one thing causing me all this pain, it was several. But I had to go and make an ass out of myself, in front of everyone, hurting Rory.

 _What am I doing?_ I asked myself. Still, very unsure of the answer.

Not before long, I heard the voices of Zoe and Nathan coming down the staircase. I didn't care, I actually figured they'd eventually find me. They didn't speak, they didn't say a word. They just sat down next to me in the sand. Zoe on my right, Nathan on my left.

Zoe let her head rest on my shoulder, Nathan offered me some popcorn. I smiled and shook my head 'no'. Just watched the waves crash under the long strip of Boardwalk.

I didn't feel defeated, like I usually did. I felt like an idiot. But, all it takes is one, simple, negative emotion; and it spreads like wild fire. It pulls on every heart string you have and doesn't stop until it devours you whole.

Zoe offered me a cigarette, and I took it with gusto. Lighting it and taking in a lungful. Letting out the cloud, I felt my body relax. My wrists stop burning, and my headache subside. No coughing, not this time.

Replacing my anxiety with a lungful of nicotine. Just in time for my nightly breakdown.

* * *

 **Tiny Voices**

* * *

 **A/N:** Again, leave a review! Tell me what you like, everything is always a work in progress, so leave a critique. Add to your favorites and let everyone know about wolf Like Me! Thanks again!


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